Santa read my list

How does Santa always know?  He knew that Brother Tiger asked for a blow dryer (so did Dirty Dirks, they have that in common I suppose).  He also knew that I asked for obscure Tiger swag.  Only Santa had help from Brother Tiger who gave me this gem:

Obviously, my face lit up like the Hanukkah menorah.  Where did he find it?  No idea.  Did he have to pay for it with his soul?  Probably.  Doesn't matter.  It's mine now!  Right now it's sitting in my front room on the side table, but it might need a shelf of honor somewhere.  Hopefully your Christmas was as spectacular as mine.

Santa's List

I'm currently staring straight ahead at two full weeks of freedom.  It's the best Christmas gift a Tigress could possibly get.  Thinking about my Christmas good fortune got me thinking about what's on the wish lists of our favorite Tiger players.  Luckily, I'm in with the big man and he gave me a sneak peek.

Verdiggity- That elusive "perfect game" that he's fantasized about in commercials.   I'm thinking Santa has already been pretty generous with two no hitters, but my philosophy at Christmas is to dream big.

Dougie Fresh- New dancing shoes and for the doorways of Detroit to be raised by six inches to accommodate people of all heights.

Ricky P- A new wing man since G$ has moved down to Hotlanta.  Preferably someone with as much game as G$ and the same ability to bring in the ladies.

SchEYEzer- He already has the perfect pair of goggles for when celebrations come around, now he just needs sunglasses that match.

Sanchez- A new home in Detroit since he's here for five years.  I'm going to guess he goes with a suburb like Bloomington Hills, but maybe he's a city boy at heart.  There are many buildings in Detroit just waiting for renovation, Anibal.

Dirty Dirks- A haircut.  Oh no, that's my wish list.  He actually wants a turtleneck with an "extra wide" neck for those chilly Detroit evenings.

Avila- Double knee replacement surgery.  He is also requesting catching equipment with more cushion.  He can't handle another run into the Prince.

Donnie Kelly, Ryan Suckburn, and Delmon Young- A return back to their favorite team, the Tigers.  Sorry boys, not going to happen.

Cabby- A trophy room.  At the pace he is going, he's going to need more room in his house for all his bling.  Also, good news!  Cabby is on the "nice" list this year.  Big improvement from last year!

Tigerberry- 100 brand new batting gloves.  He's going to pull a Willie Mays Hayes next year and tack them up on his wall for every steal.

AJacks- The love and affection of every Tiger fan that was previously given to Granderson.  Come on people. Curtis has been gone for years.  It's time to start giving that love to AJacks, he deserves it.

Smokes- NicoDerm CQ and Nicorette

Mike Illitch- A World Series championship.  Maybe this year Illy.

Grown up Christmas list

Dear Santa,

It's the Tigress writing you again this year.  First with the formalities.  How was your year?  Did Donner do well on Atkins?  Hopefully he'll be able to get off the ground this year and you won't have to pinch hit for him like last year.  How is your wife?  I like to her imagine her like the Mrs. Claus from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer shouting, "Eat, Papa, eat!"  Nothing brings me more joy.

Now that we've got that over with, on to the really important things.  My Christmas list!  I've been extra good this year and decided to do a 12 Days of Christmas-type list.  No birds for me though.  I think we can come up with some better alternatives.  Rather than counting down twelve times over, we'll just start with the twelfth and work our way down.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me:

12 Max SchEYEzer strikeouts (all in one game)

11 Austin Jackson triples

10 bullpen pitchers (not as many fat or unreliable ones this year Santa, we have standards)

9 scoreless innings

8 Avila put outs

7 uninterrupted months of Tiger baseball

6 Dougie Fresh interviews

5 starting pitchersssssssssssssssssssssssss!

4 infielders

3 outfielders

2 Verlander no hitters

and a World Series victory!

So, if it's not too much trouble, Santa, I'd like the aforementioned items for this coming 2013 season.  Shouldn't be too difficult given the stacked lineup of the Tigers.  I'm pinning all of my hopes on you, fat man.  No pressure!

Drive safe next week, and for goodness sake, watch out for deer.  Not your deer, of course, the non magical type.

Love, The Tigress

Smart move, worst news

Winter meetings are in full swing and the Master Brow is continuing to strengthen the Tigers' pitching and lineup.  Today's move of signing Sanchez to a five year deal was a fabulous move.  The four returning starting pitchers dominated teams in the playoffs (with little help from the offense).  Sanchez was a welcome addition to the starting lineup, especially after he figured out American League batters.  So, Master Brow, smart move.

Honestly though, it's hard for me to get excited about anything today.  Only 10 days until Christmas should be the most exciting time for small children around the country, so I can't imagine what the families of Newtown, Connecticut are going through.  As an employee of an elementary school, I pride myself on being able to provide the one stable environment in a child's life.  The one place where they know they will be loved, cared for, and able to learn and grow.  The right, that feeling, was taken away from the small children in Newtown and too much tragedy and anxiety was thrust upon these small minds.  I can't begin to fathom the feeling of inadequacy and helplessness the employees and parents of these children feel.  Although I'm a spiritual person, I don't often request others to pray or think of others.  I've always been of the mindset that it's your choice to turn your energy where you see fit.  However, if you'll indulge me, just take a minute to send some positive energy, thought, prayers (whatever) to the families of Newtown.  The small children and their families need all the support they can get as they wake up tomorrow with the consequences of one person's actions today.

Until happier times, forever a Tigress and an educator.

Classic advertisements

Without baseball to watch, there are a lot of Christmas specials to keep me occupied.  During said specials, there's always some commercials that stand the test of time and even tug at my heart a little bit.  Here are some of my favorites:

The Runaway:  Little Lindsay wants to run away to McDonaldLand because she's "too little."  Don't worry Lindsay, I know just the person to convince you to not run away...a giant clown who just happens to be making a snowman in your neighborhood even though he claims to be from this McDonaldLand.  Don't worry though, Lindsay sees the error of her ways and decides she irreplaceable (just like Beyonce).

Hershey Jingle Bells: Nothing says Christmas like musical chocolate.  Simple, yet effective.  They still play it today for a reason.

Campbell's Snowman: Every kid knows the feeling of being outside in the snow so long that your cheeks turn a beautiful red and your toes are numb for hours.  The Campbell's snowman epitomizes this childhood memory and adds in an adorable kid to boot.  His face at the end is priceless.

Folger's Brother and Sister:  Gotta be honest about this one, I always cry.  Right when she puts the bow on her brother.  Old age is turning me into one big softie, just like Smokes.  I also like how Folger's is "real" coffee.  Maybe next time do some volunteer work in Columbia and see what real coffee is.

Coke Polar Bears:  There have been several Christmas Coke commercials with polar bears in them, but throw in some penguins and I can't resist!  Nothing brings species of animals together like a carbonated beverage!

Enjoy being persuaded to buy these products and many more this holiday season!

Hot corner move

Word got through the slow-moving winter news system today that Gene Lamont is no longer the 3rd base coach for the Tigers.  He's moved to "bench coach."  Brookens is taking over at 3rd and Rafael Belliard is taking over at 1st (which isn't nearly as important as any other coaching position but that's ok).  Here are the top 5 reasons for Lamont's move to "bench coach."

5.  Smokes and Lamont needed MORE time to talk.  It was too much of a hardship for Smokes to send Lamont out to third base every half inning.  Smokes hasn't heard every Lamont childhood story about how he overcame the hardship of living in Illinois and having to manage the White Sox in the 90s.

4.  Brookens' fine "bod" is best observed from 3rd base, where Leyland the other coaches can admire his dedication to fitness.  Brookens has an ass to be admired.

3.  Brookens and Belliard have become "bros" over the past couple years (cue the bromance).  They've developed a series of intricate hand gestures and signals that need to be tested out from across the diamond.  Only way to do that was to kick Lamont out of his base coaching duties.

2.  Lamont's reflexes have deteriorate over the years and he's no longer quick enough to avoid stray foul balls (this one is probably 100% accurate).

1.  And the number one reason is...Lamont's 50% safe percentage on runners he has sent home.  I'm not a statistician, but I'm going to venture a guess that Lamont's safe percentage is one of the worst in MLB.  It's common knowledge that Prince Fielder is the worst slider on the Tigers (something to work on in the off season, friend), and the tag out by Buster Posey during game 2 of the World Series was probably the final nail in the coffin.

Smokes, Dombrowski, whoever made the final call to move Lamont...it's about time!

Christmas shopping

December is a wonderful month.  There are so many Christmas songs, movies, and decorations to distract us from the lack of Tiger action.  There's just one terrible thing about December, trying to figure out the perfect gift for every person on your list.  Then, dealing with the crazy crowds, lines, and rude people in stores.  Fear not Tigress-true, we aim to serve.  Here are some ideas for everyone on your list!  No simple Tigers t-shirts here either.  Think outside the shirt!

Father Tiger: One year Brother Tiger took one of Father Tiger's tools and wrapped it up.  Father Tiger had no idea it was already his tool!  I'm pretty sure Brother Tiger got the idea from a Christmas special, but who cares?  Well played, Brother.  So, to keep all those re-gifted tools organized, give Father Tiger a Tiger tool belt.

Mother Tiger: You know those jewelry store commercials where the mother is always tickled to get a diamond bracelet or necklace for Christmas?   Well, those gifts are so 2011.  Get Mother Tiger something she'll actually wear!  Forget about expensive jewelry that can be worn once a year.  Get her a Tigers necklace that goes with yoga pants and a little black dress (OK, probably not a little black dress).

Brother Tiger:  If your brother is anything like mine, he's all about the fun.  Instead of being a responsible sibling who discourages any kind of shenanigans, let the fun roll!  Just be prepared with bail money if need be. Get Brother Tiger a Tigers beer pong table and tell him to invite you to the first house party.

Sister Tigress: Tangible presents are great, but sometimes nothing beats the experience of going to a game.  Tickets aren't on sale yet for the 2013 season, but write your Sister Tigress a little IOU and promise seats in the Terrace section against a rival team.  Even better, give her the IOU in this ticket holding book.  That way, she'll get to save her tickets and cherish the memories (awww, I'm so sentimental around the holidays).  That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Significant other Tiger or Tigress: Show your Honey Tiger (or Tigress) a little love this year by outfitting their most valuable asset.  Their bum of course!  Tiger underwear is the perfect way to say "When I look at your bum, I think of baseball."  Now that's love.

Happy shopping!

King of the cover

Not much going on in Tiger land in late November.  Dombrowski has been keeping himself busy by releasing people though.  Bye bye Suckburn.  Best Thanksgiving dessert EVER!

I was in the super market today and happen to glance at the magazine rack.  When, what to my wondering eyes should appear but Miggy on the cover of Sports Illustrated looking majestic.  Take a look!

You're welcome world.

The giving of thanks

Tis the season, Tigers and Tigerettes.  It's now time we go around the table at the Tigress house and say what we are thankful for.  I've even invited some special guests over to enjoy my meal with me!

Tigress:  I'm thankful for back-to-back American League Central Championships, mainly so I can rub that in the face of every White Sox fan out there.  Hooray!  I'm also thankful for Mr. Soon-to-be Tiger.  Smokes, stop crying over there!  We've just started!

Smokes: Sorry.  I'm thankful for a second American League Championship in my tenure with the Tigers thus ensuring another year managing the best team in the American League.  I'm also thankful for cigarettes (wipes tear from his eye).  Thanks be!

Dombrowski:  I'm thankful that 80% of all trades I've done over the past three years have made me look like a genius when it's usually just dumb luck.  Ok fine, calculated dumb luck.  Cheers!

Dirty Dirks: I'm thankful that Donnie Kelly and Delmon Young have both moved on.  Everyday outfield position, here I come!!!  Oh wait, I'm getting a Tweet from a week ago.  Master Brow, you signed Torii Hunter?

Tigress: Don't worry Dirty.  Just get a haircut and I'm sure you'll be fine.

CMo: I'm thankful for that one chance I got to be in the booth with Mario.  Magic, friends, magic.  Here's to many more graduations or weddings for Rod Allen next year.

Dombrowski: Don't get used to it.  Next time Road Dawg is getting the call.

El Diablo: I'm thankful for the departure of Papa Potato.  It's now time for a new nickname, "The Ingrown Hair!"

Tigress: Who invited you?

El Diablo:  I kind of just followed Smokes here.  I'm really trying to impress him for the closing job.

Smokes: Not going to happen.  Doctor says if I have one more heart attack I'm done.  I'm like a cat, nine heart attacks is all I can take.

Dougie Fresh: I'm thankful for being chosen by the Tigress this year.  It's been the best year of my life.  I set an American League record for consecutive strike outs, pitched in the World Series, and was the "Tiger" of the most beloved bloggess of her time.  Here's to this year and many more to come!

Tigress: Way to finish on a high note Dougie.  Cheers!  Now, please, teach me how to Dougie.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Here's your gentle reminder to stay safe, don't drink and drive (just like Smokes warned us after the AL Championship), and shop Small Business Saturday.

The news

By now, you know the news...unless you live under a rock.  Sorry if you came to the Tigress looking for an update on Thursday, but I had to let it sink in for a couple of days.  The MVP stays in Detroit, where it should be.  All the doubters out there can be silenced at least for several minutes.  By now though, the doubters are still grumbling and rambling about Trout and his stats and blah blah blah.  You can't top a Triple Crown and an AL Championship.  Argument done.

In other news, G$ is no longer with the Tigers.  Ya, let that sink in.  It's probably the biggest loss of a free agent this off season so far.  Just think of all we are missing.  The jokes, the laughs, the quotes, the faces.  True, I won't miss his bat or throwing arm, but sometimes there are more important things.  Who am I kidding?  Nothing is more important than a batting average and an ability to throw down to second.  We do need a back up catcher though or Avila will age another 5 years within one season.

Back to the task at hand.  Congrats to Miggy and happy trails to G$.  Thanks for the memories.

Outfield power

Dombrowski wastes NO time.  Less than a month after the Tigers lost in the World Series in a quick four game series, The Master Brow is already repacking the roster.  Obviously, there are some vacancies left by Delmon, Papa Potato, and Sanchez.

Looking back at the postseason, the biggest hole in the lineup was right field.  Andy Dirks should be a shoe in for a starting position next year (if he isn't, we need to reassess how we assess...haha).  TigerBerry is just not an everyday player.  BBoesch's bat was colder this year than a fudgesicle stuck to the back of the freezer.  Garcia is just too young.  I give it three more years before he is ready to be an everyday player.

The Master Brow signed Torii Hunter today to play outfield and provide a more reliable bat.  If you remember back to when CMo was in the booth, he was singing the praises of Hunter all night.  Well, dust off your pipes CMo, because you have plenty of opportunity to sing all season!  Although Hunter is old (he's 37, young for say, a president, but old for any athlete outside of hockey), he has been a consistent player over the years.

Welcome to D-Town Torii.  For now, you are a welcome addition.

November baseball

I know what you are thinking: Tigress, you are crazy!  There's no baseball in November!  Well, this is THE week that all the wonderful awards are announced.  Here's the breakdown (it's like a small present each day...like Hanukkah!)

Monday- Rookie of the Year (Congrats Clown Question and Trouty Mouth!)
Tuesday- Managers of the Year
Wednesday- Cy Young
Thursday- Most Valuable Player

See what I'm saying!  There's a lot to look forward to this week.  One might even say that there's a lot to be THANKFUL for (see how I did that.  It's November folks).  Hopefully by the end of the week, Miggy will be the proud owner of his very own American League MVP award.

Rod Allen Slang

Mid-week television viewing has become stagnant.  With last night's continuous election results, we here at the Tigress household resorted to watching a movie.  I'm all for election coverage, but you can't call results of a state when only 1% of the polling is in.  I mean, COME ON!

I don't know about you, but I miss Rario's playful banter.  For those of you not familiar, the off season is your chance to get caught up on Rod Allen colloquialisms.  Here are some of the more obscure terms:

• PF Flyers- “Prince had his PF flyers on last night too” 
• Meaning: He was fast and running a lot of bases
• Big boy pants- “Brennan put on his big boy pants”
• Meaning: He hit a long home run
• Dealing- “Max is dealing tonight”
• Meaning: He’s throwing very good pitches and striking people out.
• Steady diet- “Jhonny is getting a steady diet of breaking balls.”  
• Meaning: The batter is getting a lot of the same pitch.
• On point- "Jackson has been on point all series, both offensively and defensively."
• Meaning:  He’s been in the zone, clutch…if you don’t know those sports clinches, then I just can’t help you.
• Pitchability- "Not only does Verlander have pitchability, but he can field too."
• Meaning:  To be honest, I think he made this one up.  My guess at a translation is that Verdiggity is a bad ass pitcher.
• Wood- “Quintin got pretty good wood on this one.”  
• Meaning: He hit the ball with the bat solidly. 
• Bubble gum card- “He’s had a good year according to this bubble gum card.”  
• Meaning: He has good stats this year.
• Season is over- Mario: He went fishing for that one (he went down and got it)  Rod: He’ll be real fishing next week (His season is over)
• Meaning: Not really slang, but a really good zinger Rod
• Lunch pail- “Prince brings that lunch pail to work every single day”
• Meaning: He’s a hard worker
• Fork in him- “Stick a fork in him” 
• Meaning: That means he’s done, Rod likes to use this especially when the ball girl/boys botch a foul ground ball.
• Worth the price of admission- "That was worth the price of admission."
• Meaning: He made a good play

This is just a sampling, but study up on these during the off season, Tiger newbies, and you'll be ready to go in April!  Just like BBoesch needs to work on hitting this off season, so do Tiger fans to prepare to enjoy all that is Tiger baseball.

Dream Job: Special assistant to Dave Dombrowski

A true baseball fan will do anything to stay connected to the game.  A fly ball at the game, fantasy camp, a special birthday card from Paws, the list goes on.  There are several jobs in baseball that I consider "Dream Jobs."  The qualifications of a dream job?  The ability to stay connected to the game, affect the team, and live out every child's fantasy of hanging out with major league players. 

The first dream job?  Special assistant to Dave Dombrowski.  True, it would be slightly cooler if it was Assistant Dave Dombrowski, but it's basically semantics at this point.  The man who currently holds this position is Al Kaline (Willie Horton does too, but I think we know he is outranked).  I doubt there is any real job description on file, but here's what I can gather he does from going to games and watching him on TV:

Sit in the owner's suite with unlimited access to popcorn

Pose for pictures on the field

Hangout with current players, especially after they win championships.  In fact, owning goggles is a must.

Hangout with past players and take them around the stadium when they come to visit

Go to Lakeland every year for some fun in the sun, whoops, I mean Spring Training

Throw out the occasional first pitch

I mean, what's not to love?  Unfortunately, I think only past Tiger heroes get the position of "special assistant" but that doesn't stop me from applying every year.  One year Dave will see the value of the Tigress' ability to specially assist.

Good news all around

Two days after the Tigers World Series jaunt is over and Dombrowski is already thinking about next year.  Here was a list found in the pocket of Dave's favorite "taking care of business" sport coat:

1. Re-sign Smokes- check
Smokes' contract was up and Dave was smart to get him for another year.  He has unfinished business.  Plus, he worked through the crap all year of a team who refused to hit and the Detroit media who clattered for his removal all season.  With back-to-back AL Central Championships and consecutive postseason births, we'd be crazy not to get him for another year.

2. Re-sign Peralta- check
Although Soft J had a rocky season, he was spot on in the playoffs.  His numbers last year also show promise that a more consistent season is possible.  I'd recommend getting Lloyd McClendon working with him this off season to see if he can work out the quirks like he did with AJacks last year.

3. Re-sign Dotel- check
Dotel has been passed around the major leagues worse than a high school head cheerleader around a football team.  The Tigers wised up and re-signed a solid relief pitcher with closing experience.  I also can't complain about his habit of wearing high socks.

4. Don't re-sign Papa Potato- check
The baseball gods must be smiling down on Detroit.  The most destructive player in the postseason is not coming back to D-Town.  Rejoice!

5. Don't re-sign Delmon- check
Delmon Young is also a free agent for next season.  Although he is lights out during the postseason, it's the other 162 games of the year that are a mess, not to mention his life choices.  In fact, I'd be a great life coach, Delmon!  Here are some rules: Don't drink during the season, stay clear of any religious center, never throw bats.  Anyway, with Victor Martinez expected to come back next year, there's no need for a DH with terrible fielding abilities for next year.  Whatever team you make it to, I hope we don't face you in the playoffs.

The other free agent is Anibal Sanchez.  Although Dombrowski hasn't made any official announcement yet, he probably won't be returning either.  That's a shame.  He became accustom to AL bats and helped to carry the team through the postseason.  However, with all the young pitchers coming through the farm system, the extra money can be used for other players.

This looks to be a busy off season!  Stay tuned Tiger faithful.

WS Games 3 and 4: Missed Opportunities

What a crazy, busy weekend for the Tigers and the Tigress.  Game 3 was definitely characterized by missed opportunities, no more so than when the bases were loaded with only one out and no runs were scored.  In general, the bats were cold the first three games.  I wouldn't even say that the Giants' pitching was as stellar as the Tigers, just that the Tigers were on a cold streak.

Game 4 was do or die.  To be honest, I felt a lot of pressure.  Many people put their hopes on MY shoulders to cheer the Tigers to a victory.  I will say it was actually a close game, SchEYEzer was outstanding, and the wind helped to blow Miggy's hit out of the park.  In the end, the Giants were just the better team.

The Tigers had a great season.  American League Central Champions, American League Champions, a Triple Crown, and probably the Most Valuable Player of the American League.  That's not too shabby.  Sure, I wish the Tigers would have given the Giants more of a run for their money in the World Series, but that's not the way things shook out this year.

There's lots more analysis to come, but to be honest, I'm just too tired right now.  162 games plus 5 games in the ALDS, 4 games in the ALCS, and 4 games in the WS.  But as Sister Tigress says, "April is just 5 short months away."

WS Game 2: Oh Dougie, My Dougie

Dougie Fresh pitched maybe one of the best games I've ever seen him pitch.  Two hits over six innings isn't too shabby.  Oh ya, he also took a line drive off his head and kept pitching.  Now, I don't endorse getting a concussion and continuing to play, but when your body is made of steel like Mr. Fister, then I say go for it!

One thing that isn't impressing is the Tigers' hitting.  Down two games heading home, some Tigers fans might be losing hope.  Not this Tiger fan.  Sanchez and SchEYEzer are up this weekend and they showed complete dominance in their games against the Yankees.  The Giants weren't exactly lighting up the bats either last night.  Stringing some hits together, equals runs.  That's all we need.  It also doesn't hurt to be going back to Detroit, where the Tigers are statistically better and the crowd will be behind them. 

Here's my task to you, loyal Tiger fans: Keep cheering.  Keep cheering until the last out of the elimination game.  Detroit in the World Series doesn't come around every year.  So don't take the situation for granted.  Don't count the Tigers out.  And please, don't bad mouth the Tigers.  I know we can do it!

Go Tigers!

WS Game 1: Down, not out

If the Tigers were getting all the close calls against the Yankees, then San Francisco can get hits anywhere and have a mistress called Lady Luck.  The bottom of the third inning started entirely because of luck.  Three runs because of a bounce off third base.  I do have to give it up to Pablo Sandoval though.  It didn't matter what the Tigers threw him, he hit it out of the park.  So impressive. 

Here's an idea though, let's not pitch to him in game 2.  You heard me Dougie, walk him, pitch around him, I don't care.  The Tigers are down, but not out.  Tony Kornheiser made some ridiculous remark yesterday that if the Tigers lose game one, then they lose the series.  That's just ludicrous to say.  It's a sever game series folks.  Tigers pitching and hitting will prevail.

Go Tigers!

So pumped

Tonight is the night!  Back to the World Series.  I have everything I need for a positive game time experience.  Chips.  Check.  Salsa.  Check.  Tigers hat.  Check.  Tigers bandanna on the dog.  Check.  Tickets to game four.  Check.

YUP!!!  You read that right!  I'll be there to see SchEYEzer take on Matt Cain for my second game four of the playoffs!  Just when I thought I'd have to sell my kidney on Ebay to pay for a ticket, my Tigress connections came through.  This should be a lesson to all organized sports teams.  To purchase tickets, you should have to write a 500 word essay on why the game is important to you.  Then people looking to make a quick buck won't take tickets away from true fans...like me!

Everything is coming up Tigress.  In fact, a Tiger win would really cap this day off the way it should be.

Ticket to the WS

The National League has punched the Tigers' ticket to destiny, and destiny seems to reside in San Francisco.  In the words of David Freese, "they [San Fran] are cruising."  It worries me a little bit, but I have to believe with all their elimination games, that the Giants' magic is about to run out.  I mean, a bases clearing double because of a broken bat that happens to hit the ball three times?  That can't happen twice...right?

Here's a hint though, quiet Scutaro's bat and don't make him mad on the base paths.  That's free advice Smokes, the next round is going to cost you World Series tickets.  That's right, because of people who bought tickets with only the intention of selling them well above market value, the true fans have no WS tickets.  I haven't given up hope yet, but it's not looking good unless I take a second mortgage out on the house.

The other unfortunate consequence of the All Star game loss is that the Tigers are heading across the country, leaving the balmy 75 degree Detroit weather behind.  Instead, they will be returning Saturday where the high is the mid 40s.  Thus is Michigan my friends.  However, if you can't handle the cold, I'd be happy to take your tickets off your hands.  I'd be happy to see the San Fran bats try and hit any of the men above.

World Series foe

The NLCS isn't over yet!  Barry Zito's gutsy performance on Friday puts San Fran back into the series and sends them home to play game 6.  This whole postseason, I've always been looking ahead to the possible Detroit opponents, especially in the World Series.  Of course, there are pros and cons to playing both teams.  Let's assess, shall we?

St. Louis Cardinals:

Pros-

• It would be a rematch of the 2006 World Series (and 1968 series, but we won that one so suck it!) and it would be great to get a little redemption. 
• The Cardinals are without their playoff guru, Tony LaRussa.  In fact, he was the Tigers' buddy during spring training so he may have passed along all the WS secrets.
• The headlines for Verdiggity striking out David Freese write themselves.  For example:  2011 MVP to "Freese" even most potent Cardinal hitters (that's a little long for a headline, I'll admit, but not as long as Michael Scott's headlines for the watermark issue)
• The Cardinals have become a team that fans love to hate on.  If Detroit faces them in the Series, we are sure to get the sympathy vote/cheers.

Cons-

• There's really just one reason, but it's a biggie.  The Cardinals never die.  Some kind of Captain America DNA.  No lead is safe with them.  That makes even the most devote fans nervous.

San Francisco Giants:

Pros-

•  San Francisco is one of the most temperate climates in the US.  The ten day weather forecast is highs in the mid 60s with lows in the mid 50s.  Yawn!  Next Sunday (a home game for Detroit), the high is 45 and the low is 36.  Tigers take a distinct advantage in terms of dealing with the cold.  They've played all of April and October in the unpredictable Michigan weather and are prepared, a la Placido Polanco in 2006.
• The Giants are a little inconsistent, especially with their starting pitching.  Their top player, Buster Posey, is also experiencing a bit of a playoff slump.
• I love seeing grown men wearing panda heads.

Cons-

• I don't think there is worse hair or general appearance than the Giants.  With the exception of Buster Posey, the rest of the team are a bunch of "before" pictures during a make over show.
• Hunter Pence never blinks...ever.  It's creepy
• I used to think a mullet was the official haircut of hockey players nationwide.  I was wrong.

Either way, the Tigers are playing a little rec baseball the rest of this week while the National League finishes up.  Smokes won't let them follow in Cam Newton's footsteps and ride go carts or play video games.  In fact, if anyone mentions Guitar Hero in the clubhouse, Verdiggity has permission to beam him with a fastball.  So ready for the Series.

Cue the Queen song

I know, I know.  You've all been dying to hear all about my experience and reaction to the past two days.  Well, let me tell you, it was a busy 30 hours or so.  Let's start at the beginning:

The rain delay that never was.  I was there people, the rain didn't even start falling until 9:45 and it was a sprinkle at most.  Most of the game could have been finished by the time the real "rain" came.  I have to confess something, on the drive back across the state after the game had been postponed, I really considered not going to back to the game on Thursday.  Boy am I glad I wised up!

The Tigress tried to take a nap during the delay

On Wednesday, I was looking a lot like Dougie Fister.  You know, so fresh and so clean.  Sister Tigress and I were interviewed several times (credit the Zubaz pants people).  As Friend Tiger said, "Any day you get on TV and not go to jail is a good day."  We also made friends with an enthusiastic gentleman who had the best "sweep" move I've ever seen, an older couple who was hoping for no rain because the woman was having surgery Thursday (you were there in spirit, Lady Tigress), and, oh ya, Jack Morris.  He was just bumming around HockeyTown like it was no big deal.  I ALMOST said hi to him.  It was fantastic.

While Wednesday was fun, the let down I felt after getting sent home on a "rain delay" was almost as bad as feeling a Tiger loss.  In my mind, Thursday was going to have to be awesome to make up for such a disappointment.

Well Thursday, you delivered!  From start to finish, the game was beyond words.  First, the 4 Tops sang the National Anthem.  I think they are in the top 5 of the best National Anthems I've ever heard.  They still got it.  Then, the first pitch was thrown.  To prep it, they showed a video of who was coming out to throw the pitch.  I knew right away who it was from the footage of Verdiggity throwing to a catcher in 2006.  Pudge Rodriguez!   So good to have him back in Detroit.  I have fond memories of watching him in the Home Run Derby in 2005 and he's a classy dude.

Some notes from the game:

• There's a new nickname for the Yankees' first baseman: Teixeirable
• New nickname for the Yankees' second baseman: Robinson Cannot
• Best sign: I usually don't wear crowns, but when I do I wear 3.  Great parody on the Dos Equis commercials
• I got back from the bathroom 5 seconds before Cabby hit his home run.  Good timing or greatest timing?
• Made tons of friends at the game, except one lady who sat behind us for one inning.  She had no idea who anyone on the team was.  In the ninth inning she asked, "Who is pitching?"   I replied (after everyone else ignored her), "Phil Coke."  She said, "Who?  Bill Coke."   Get out of here lady!  You are ruining the best moment of my life!
• Princey Pie's jumping at the end to call everyone off was so amazing.  These guys were acting like little boys and I was loving just being there.

Really, you can't plan to be at a game where the Tigers clinch the AL championship, especially by sweeping the Yankees.  It will probably not be done again in the same manner.  A home game, full of excited, dedicated fans who sat out a rain delay, all coming together to experience history.  It's giving me chills right now just thinking about it.

The team really came together last night and in this series, but I want to give out Tigress recognition awards to recognize specific individuals

Mr. Pinch Hitter: Avisail Garcia.  It's ridiculously difficult to come through in the clutch, especially when you are 21 and playing on the same team as a home country hero like Cabby.

Closing is like Breathing: Phil Coke.  From what I hear, closing is hard.  I'll admit that Philthy Phil gave me a mini heart attack in game 3, but other than that he was clutch.  Even going more than one inning, he got the job done.

Eye of the Tiger: Max SchEYEzer.  No hits through 5 2/3 innings and 10, count them, 10 strikeouts.  We gave him a huge ovation upon his exit as well.  Smokes also gave him a shout out at the end because of his personal situation this season, mainly, the death of his brother. Also, I thought I saw him wear goggles with two different colored lenses and Yahoo confirmed it for me today.  So funny.

Can every month be October? Delmon Young.  If we could just trade for him or sign him right before the trade deadline, that would be great.  He was a stellar hitter last year during the playoffs as well.  His behavior during the season, however, is not classy, no matter what the AL president says.

Whole bullpen: Guy Smyly and Dotel.  Seems like they were the few guys pitching this series besides Coke who were reliable (we won't speak of the two unmentionables).  I'm kind of surprised I didn't see more of Alburquerque and Porcello, but they will probably be needed against National League batters.

Strikeout Shop Quartet- Verdiggity, Dougie Fresh, Sanchez, and SchEYEzer.  No other starting rotation can compare.  No one!  The Yankees couldn't hit anything these guys were slinging.  Maybe the sports announcers out there will finally realize that the Tigers starting rotation had much more to do with the Tigers' victory than the "Yankee collapse."

October weather is just heating up: Jhonny Peralta.  Talk about getting hot in October.  Two home runs yesterday, super impressive.

One minor piece of misinformation yesterday.  Ilitch said that there weren't any "hot dogs" on the team.  Wrong-o Mikey! You forgot about Unmentionable Number One.

Smokes has a plan to keep the Tigers warm and their heads in the game.  While the Tigers were excited about last night's win, they seem collectedly focused that the goal was "Four more wins."  I'm with you boys!  There will be lots more analysis and getting ready for the series in the days to come.  Stay tuned Tigress fans!

Will a Swiffer work?

Here's a fun fact:  the three other teams left in the postseason besides the Tigers have won the World Series that past three years.
2009- Yankees
2010- Giants
2011- Cardinals

It's time Tigers.  We have the longest drought and are the hungriest (or thirstiest if it's a drought) for the championship.

Obviously it was a very exciting 9th inning last night, but the Yankees (except Ichiro) couldn't touch JV.  Even though ARod didn't play, I think he got more screen time than half the Tiger lineup.  Here's a hint ARod, you've been benched.  Smiling and waving at the camera will do nothing to calm your critics.  I'm so glad he's not on My Team.  I mean...COME ON!

While Delmon may be the most effective hitter of the playoffs, Garcia is the most clutch.  He is a pinch hitting machine.  Rare talent, my man.  Hold onto that when we play the National League team in the World Series.

Tonight, I head to Comerica to hopefully watch a Tiger sweep of the Yankees, just like in the 2006 ALDS when I witnessed the Tigers kick the Yankees out of the postseason.  This time, I'm staying for the party!  I plan tell these announcers that 50 degrees is not cold.  Just wait another week and see how cold it gets.

Joey G is full of excuses.  "The ball didn't carry tonight."  All I hear is "Wah wah wah."  SchEYEzer is pitching tonight.  A strikeout pitcher against a team that has been striking out.  I doubt I will breathe until we get that final out in the 9th.  Go Tigers!

Two up and going home

One thing is for sure, the Tigers are up 2-0 against the Yankees heading back to Comerica.  Love it.  True, the Tigers have gotten more than one favorable call in the series.  That's the way the game works.  Girardi is trying to "make a statement" by claiming that instant replay needs to be used in MLB games.  Two things Joe: 1) Your team hasn't scored any runs the past two games against starting pitchers.  Actually, off anyone but Papa Potato.  That's your bad. 
2) Even if there was instant replay, they would never check on an out at a base.  Torre said they would check on things like foul versus fair balls and whether a ball was caught or trapped.  So Joey G, even if there was instant replay, the two calls you are disputing would not have been looked at.  End of story.  Tell your team to get their bats moving and soldier on.

The Tigers starting pitchers, and half the bullpen, are pitching lights out baseball.  The Yankees don't know what to do with themselves.  With ARod, Cano, Swisher, and Granderson hitting below .200, things are looking a little dismal for the fellas in Old York.  The bigger story though is the Tiger hitters coming through in the clutch.  Infante sparkles in the nine spot.  Peralta makes the hits when it counts and has made some stellar defensive plays.  Peralta and Dirty Dirks also pack a nice one-two punch in the middle of the lineup.  AJacks and Tigerberry are getting on when it counts.  Once Cabby and Princey Pie start clicking, this offense is really going to shine.

This Tigress is going to the game on Wednesday for (fingers crossed) a chance for the sweep.  With Verdiggity pitching tomorrow, I have very high hopes that the Comerica crowd will carry him through.  The excitement of October baseball is in the air.  Even a coworker who didn't know there were games last week commented on watching the Tigers win twice this weekend.  That, my friend, is the bandwagon.  Hop on and have some fun.

Valverde shells and cheese

9th inning meltdowns seem to be a recurring theme this postseason (it may even be trending on the Twitter).  Since the Tigers already had a 9th inning meltdown versus the Athletics, you would think they would avoid the situation at all costs.  A four run lead in the 9th SHOULD be enough to get you through.  But when Ichiro is hitting a line drive home run, you (I'm talking to you Smokes) should know something is wrong.  It was his first career postseason home run. 

Now usually I make light of Valverde.  I give him a funny nickname and shake off the bad, disappointing thoughts because it's easier that way.  Not today though.  This should be like V for Vendetta.  "Remember, Remember, don't play Valverde past September."  I read Smokes' responses this morning to whether he would continue to keep Valverde as the closer. He, very diplomatically, said that he would talk with the coaching staff and make the decision.  Fine.  Look at things in the light of day.  I can guarantee you that it will look the same it did last night at 11:30 when everything went south.  The Tigers played THEIR game last night, great starting pitching, getting hits from postseason clutch hitters like Young and Peralta, and yet they still had to go extra innings because of ONE player.  That one player no longer deserves to play on the same team as the other guys, not in the same role anyway.  And Dotel assures us that the Tigers still have faith in Valverde.  Well, as Biden would say, that's a bunch of malarkey.  Watching JV's face and Cabby's reaction when he got back to the dugout tells a different story.  What also bothers me is that Valverde went directly into the clubhouse when he was pulled.  He didn't even have the decency to face the teammates he let down.

Valverde says he still wants the ball in the next save situation.  If Smokes gives it to him, I think that pretty much seals his fate as a manager in Detroit.  I'm 100% against booing a member of the Tigers, but I wouldn't blame others for booing Valverde if he gets put in during a save situation.  Smokes is loyal, like a faithful golden retriever, I respect that to a certain point.  We are at that point, Jimmy.

As always, go Tigers.  I wish the win last night felt differently to me, but I hope the team can learn from this and not leave things to chance in extra innings versus the Yankees (or any team for that matter) again.  I hope to return to you in my usual light-hearted manner the next time we meet.

Real women

News flash: I'm not a Yankees fan.  There's a whole list of reasons, buying championships, disinterested fans during games, uniforms that look like prison outfits (only prisoners and Yankees wear pinstripes!), but the real reason I detest them is their sense of entitlement.  Yankee fans get mad if their team doesn't make the playoffs.  It's actually extremely difficult to get to the playoffs and for many teams it's epic to make it.  I think Baltimore and Oakland fans are with me this year.  No one expected those two teams to make it, and although the Tigers were heavily favored to win the Central this year, it was a battle that lasted until the last week of the season.

I don't blame people from New York for being Yankee fans. Chances are if I grew up in New York, there would be a 70% probability that I'd be a Yankee fan (those are the stats Met fans.  You are the minority even in your own state).  However, what is ridiculous is fans all over the country who hop on the bandwagon so they can support a playoff team most years.  This is the reason that MLB fans are forced to watch the Yankees in prime time at a far greater rate than any other team.

My disdain for the Yankees stretches back years, even to my youth.  Then, in 2004, the Red Sox did the impossible and came back from a three game deficit in the ALCS to beat the Yankees.  I lived next to a Red Sox fan and enjoyed watching an underdog team topple a dynasty.  In fact, the Red Sox owe most of their runs to the "rally laundry hamper."  One step above the 'rally hat' and oh so effect.  That year, the Red Sox had shirts proclaiming "real women don't date Yankee fans."  I liked the sentiment so much that I replicated the phrase but made it Tigress cool.  I've had this shirt since 2005, and feel like it's timeless.

Dougie Fresh is on the mound tonight versus the ancient Andy Pettitte, who is being given a later curfew tonight at his nursing home so he can pitch the game.  Don't worry Shady Pines, we'll knock him out by the 3rd inning and he'll be back in time for lights out at 9:20 PM.

Shout out to JV going the whole game on Thursday too.  You're hardcore, man.

Side note: How crazy are the Cardinals?!  Nothing is more dangerous than a team that can come back late in games.  Here's to hoping there's no 2006 World Series rematch.  No thanks.

Photographic proof that even a laundry hamper can be a rally cap.  Warning: depending on the length of the rally, may cause severe arm cramps.

Disappointment smells like potatoes

My little Tigress eyes couldn't stay open past the 7th inning.  I went to bed knowing it was 3-1 (some kind of scoreboard vision) and woke up assuming the Tigs had held on.  Caught SportsCenter and witnessed the meltdown known as Papa Potato, AKA Papa Grande, Papa Cheesecake, and Papa Poopyhead (that one came from Father Tiger.  Now you know where I get the humor from).  Sister Tigress sent me the following picture today (edited for innocent eyes):

Here's the thing JV, starting pitching has been lights out.  Verdiggity, Fister, Sanchez, and SchEYEzer have all done their job, or over and above their job.  The issue is Tiger offense and relief pitching.  Whenever I see old Unibrow going to the phone, a little part of me starts to panic.  The Tigers also had some ridiculous stat going into yesterday's game that the only earned run was Avila's home run.  Ridiculous.  You can't win postseason games with only starting pitching.  Throw these guys a bone!

But really, it isn't only Papa Potato's fault that the Tigers allowed three runs in the 9th.  It's also on Smokes.  Lots of people are clamoring for his dismissal today.  I've always been a Smokes fan.  He's old school and emotional and doesn't care if he answers questions with one word.  However, when a player is struggling, you gotta know when to pull the plug.  You don't keep a sliver in your finger hoping it will turn into a rainbow.  You yank that sucker out.  Valverde gives up a hit, you should be pulling him, IMMEDIATELY.

The truth though is even if JV goes 9 innings, he still needs some run support.  So brush off "Wonderboy" or rub a little pine tar on a tree branch.  Anything will work boys!  Now it's time for a Tigress cat nap so that tomorrow I don't have the same unattractive dark circles under my baseball eyes (maybe I can just pass it off as eye black...)

What fans sound like

I managed to stay up until the bottom of the 8th inning last night.  Success!  Tiger loss.  Not success.  Get a W tonight boys, my internal clock is all thrown off.

Last night during the first inning, I got a little taste of what postseason baseball SHOULD sound like.  The Oakland fans are nuts.  They have cowbells, whistles, flags, elephant hats, and overall just a good time.  There were continual chants and cheering any time the A's were at bat, or a pitcher had two strikes on a Tiger.  That's how to cheer fans!  I'm way impressed.  When I was at game 2 on Sunday, I listened to dudes around me talking about the following things:

• The Lions
• Finance
• Bench pressing
• Whether BBoesch was in AAA
• Some dude's company/work

I can guarentee no Oakland fans were having these conversations.  Those can be for the car ride home (although if you don't know that the AAA season is done, you probably shouldn't be at the game.  Do you have so much extra money to just throw at things that you are only partly interested in?  If so, throw so money at me.  I'm a great person to be partly interested it). 

WHEN the Tigers make it to the ALCS and I attend a game, I will make more a conscience effort to cheer more and encourage those around me to join in.  Although, I'm sure I annoyed people with my constant chanting of "Dougie Dougie Dougie!" and "Donnie Kelly!"  Annoying other people with your cheers are what the postseason is all about!!

On a side note, San Fran is lighting it up!  I missed the two games because of the time zone difference, but I don't think they were playing this kind of baseball in Cali.

Assessing the situation

Since the Tigers are cruising into Oakland tomorrow for game 3 of the series, they have the day off.  Time to look around the playoffs and scope out the competition. 

First things first, there's two things I learned from watching the Princess Bride.  One, never start a land war in Asia.  Two, never play the Yankees in the playoffs.  They never panic.  The playoffs are just another day at the office.  The O's look panicky against them.  The play at the plate where Ichiro dodged the tag from Wieters was crazy.  No frenzy, just ninja-like qualities.

Second, the Cardinals are just as bad.  2006, they had the worst record of the playoff teams (never mind that Detroit had the second worst record).  They don't need any momentum coming in to the playoffs to get things done.  The best thing to happen would be for them to be eliminated...soon.

Third, rookies are great, but let's be honest...a little playoff experience goes a long way.  Bryce Harper had an amazing rookie season and graced the world with several surfer-boy quotes.  But, he's playing like a rookie.  This is the major league playoffs, son.  You can't expect the other team to make an error.  Errors only happen when you least expect it (except if you are playing the Braves.  Bam!  I went there).

To be honest, I haven't even seen a full game between the Giants and the Reds.  Come back to the Eastern Time Zone.  I need to scope you out!

I don't want to give away the game plan of the Tigers, but I'll tell you one thing:  they will take runs any way they can get them.  Sac fly from Donnie Kelly, "bunt" dribbler from Delmon, we'll take it!  Just don't kiss anymore balls!  Except off the field.  What you do on your own time isn't my business.

Tomorrow's game doesn't start until 9:07.  Rest up Tigers and Tigerettes!  We need you rested and ready to cheer!

Two words: Donnie Kelly

Amazing two days of baseball.  I may not have a voice tomorrow, but some things are worth the price of having no voice.  I'd gladly give my voice for two Tiger wins.  Had to bundle up for Sunday's game.  Good thing I have so many cold weather options.

So fresh and so clean

Today's game was epic.  So many lead changes, so many big plays when they counted.  I thought the Wild Card games were bananas, but so far all the playoff games have been a little crazy.  Here's some highlights:

• Before every game, the Tigers lineup gets announced.  I cheer for everyone...except Gene Lamont.  I don't cheer for him.  In fact, today I did a little "boo."  Dude in front of me turned around and said "Hey, why are you booing him?"  I said, "Because he's terrible."  Later, in the 9th, when Infante stayed at third when Cabby hit that single (which I thought was appropriate), same Dude turned around and said, "Now I know why you don't like him."  In fact, Lamont is My new Not Tiger since Raburn is DLing.
• 48 is surprisingly balmy when the sun's out.  I was quite toasty as the game started.  It was probably the layers of Dougie Fresh clothing I was wearing.
• Before the game, we played two games.  1, let's guess who will freeze.  Spoiler alert: Dude with the shorts won.  2, how many strikeouts would Dougie have?  We guessed five or six, but he was dealing with 8!
• I'm expecting a "thank you" card from the Tigers.  Sister Tigress and I had rally caps going through the 7th, 8th, and 9th inning!  You're welcome.

The craziest thing about the game though was obviously, Donnie Kelly.  Here's something you may not know about Donnie Kelly, when someone asks Smokes "Who's your Tiger?", his answer is Donnie Kelly.  No surprise when he got put in to pinch run for Delmon "Unhitch the Trailer" Young.  Then, a hit from Infante and Cabby, a walk for Prince in the 9th and who comes up to bat...Donnie Kelly.  Here's the thing about Donnie Kelly, he's not that good.  His average this year is dismal, he's not particularly strong at any one position, but somehow, he made the postseason roster again!  But, when he comes up to bat there's only one choice...to continuously yell "Donnie Kelly", over and over.  Dude in front of me turned around and said "Man you must really like Don Kelly."  Wrong, but when he's in a potential clutch position, he needs to be cheered.  That's the deal.

It's possible that Donnie is trying to out-excite Tigerberry

Tigers are up 2-0 and the Yankees/O's haven't even played a game yet.  One day off, and let's finish off these "Athletics." 

Avoid the card

First time a wild card "play in" was played.  Here's some advice for every other team in the future (especially the Tigers): Avoid the card!  That stuff is crazy!

In the NL, the umps make the NFL replacement referees look like seasoned professionals.  An infield fly call half way in the outfield when the shortstop is still charging?  I mean, COME ON!  But that's not what lost the game for the Braves.  It was their failure to get hits with runners in scoring position and their terrible defense.  So really, don't get mad at the umps.  Get mad at the Braves.  Still a terrible call though. 

As an aside, I love a good protest.  I was a site manager for a public university intramural sports program for years, and I used to love when disgruntled frat boys would yell, "I'm filing a protest!"  Your protest meant the same as the Braves' last night...absolutely squat.

What's a real shame is that the Braves fans acted like a bunch of petulant teenagers throwing a fit when things don't go their way.  And on Chipper's last game.  For shame!  Although he got a big ovation before his last at bat (an "infield hit", ya right.  Can we say redemption call?), he never got to bask in the glory of one last Turner Field crowd.  Instead, he hurried into the dugout to avoid falling debris.  Ridiculous. 

Then, over in the AL, the team that led the American League West for most of the season was out after one game.  That's the wild card folks!  I wouldn't want to play the O's right now.  I hope they take out the Yankees, and that somehow Thome becomes a Yankee killer and not a Tiger killer.

Now, onto the true postseason.  Go Tigers!

Wild Card Friday

In all the AL Central Champions and Triple Crown hoopla, I almost forgot that this is the first year there are TWO (count em, TWO) wild card teams from each league.  It certainly was exciting leading up.  The two teams in question in the AL were one game away from being division champions.  So exciting.  So, I'm dubbing this "Wild Card Friday."  It's nice that the Tigers aren't in this one game elimination.  Too nerve racking for the Tigress.

So, here are my picks.

NL: Braves. It's Chipper's last year.  He made the All Star team and the post season during his "victory lap."  I think the fans and the team want a win for Chip.  Chipper also made the original "hottest men in baseball" list.  I looked back and he didn't make it this year.  Win tonight, and you're in Chip.

AL: Orioles.  I'm so over Texas.  Isn't everyone else?  They think they are so great, pretending to be best friends with Dubya.  Hamilton's self destruction the other day was so enjoyable to watch multiple times on SportsCenter.  I went to Camden Yards a few years ago, so I also feel some affinity to the orange birds.  Plus, I'd love to see O's versus Yankees match up next round.  These two teams just keep running each other into the ground.  Perfect.  Exhaust each other for the ALDS so the Tigers can cruise through.

Happy Wild Card Friday!  Tomorrow starts Tiger Postseason baseball.  LOVE IT