It's the Tigress writing you again this year. First with the formalities. How was your year? Did Donner do well on Atkins? Hopefully he'll be able to get off the ground this year and you won't have to pinch hit for him like last year. How is your wife? I like to her imagine her like the Mrs. Claus from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer shouting, "Eat, Papa, eat!" Nothing brings me more joy.
Now that we've got that over with, on to the really important things. My Christmas list! I've been extra good this year and decided to do a 12 Days of Christmas-type list. No birds for me though. I think we can come up with some better alternatives. Rather than counting down twelve times over, we'll just start with the twelfth and work our way down.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa gave to me:
12 Max SchEYEzer strikeouts (all in one game)
11 Austin Jackson triples
10 bullpen pitchers (not as many fat or unreliable ones this year Santa, we have standards)
9 scoreless innings
8 Avila put outs
7 uninterrupted months of Tiger baseball
6 Dougie Fresh interviews
5 starting pitchersssssssssssssssssssssssss!
4 infielders
3 outfielders
2 Verlander no hitters
and a World Series victory!
So, if it's not too much trouble, Santa, I'd like the aforementioned items for this coming 2013 season. Shouldn't be too difficult given the stacked lineup of the Tigers. I'm pinning all of my hopes on you, fat man. No pressure!
Drive safe next week, and for goodness sake, watch out for deer. Not your deer, of course, the non magical type.
Love, The Tigress
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