Gifts for the crown

On Friday, SchEYEzer was able to get his twelfth win.  He pitched a great game, but it was thanks to the Triple Crown king himself, Miguel Cabrera.  He was 4 for 4, with three RBIs, two home runs, and just general awesomeness.  Even though most people were talking about Prince's massive home run off the catwalk, Miggy was really the difference maker.  Let me spell it out for you Maxxy, without Miggy, you don't get your twelfth win.

To thank The Man, here are some gift suggestions you can give as a thank you for continuing your best season to date:

• A gift card for a year's worth of hair cuts at Super Cuts.  He's gotta keep his hair "high and tight" as Rod says to keep his fade looking sweet.
• One of those dancing hula girls to go on the dash of his Porsche.  I feel like that would really class up his ride.
• A homemade bat carved out of a tree struck by lightning, preferably with a sweet name like WonderBoy.  Somehow, Chris Davis keeps hitting home runs (two yesterday!) and now has 30.  To keep pace, Miggy is going to need his own little brand of magic (legal magic, people).  A homemade bat molded from the sky is the perfect solution.
• A down payment to a Michigan born sculptor to begin the work on the Miguel Cabrera statue that will eventually grace Comerica Park's left field.  It's inevitable, might as well start preparing.
• A vacant building by the stadium to establish "Miggy's Place".  If Chelios can have Cheli's Chili, then why can't Miggy also start slinging over priced hamburgers and hot dogs to the masses?  Consider it a retirement plan.
• A Tampa Bay Rays hat, bill still flat and easily tilted to the left, so Miggy can dress up on Halloween as his favorite MLB player. 

While Maxxy is busy shopping for the perfect gift, Avisail Garcia is proving he's the smartest player on the team.  Every time the camera crew shows the dugout, he's sidled up next to either Cabby or Pricey Pie.  He's no dope.  He knows that these two mean business and have the most to offer a young player in the D.  His haircut is also so similar to Cabby's, except Avi has more height on his.  I don't have a current picture, but check it out the next time they flash to these two on the TV.

Tigers have been horrid during extra inning games this year, so winning in nine is imperative today (that's right, I busted out the big words).