Beefy arm

When I go grocery shopping, my list is pretty generic.  Yogurt, lunch meat, cheese...no name brands in sight.  Whatever's on sale.  Today I had a mission.  Find the cereal that would make me the ultimate starting pitcher.  I'm talking about Justin Verlander's Fastball Flakes!  I didn't want to leave the store without them.  First stop, cereal aisle.  Not there!  Second stop, middle aisle between the food and the garden/clothes area.  Not there!  At this point I could see my dreams vanishing before my eyes.  No Rookie of the Year.  No MVP.  No Cy Young.  No 4 time All Star.  No one beefy right arm, just like Trogdor the Burninator (see image below):

Then, when all hope was lost, I found them!  They were in the middle aisle facing the flowers and clothes where no one walks!  In truth, the only reason I was on that side is because it's the path I take to get back to the front of the store.  Why would you hide your best merchandise?  Isn't that the number one rule of marketing?  Put the valuable goods in sight?  Also, can't tell you how much they are because I don't think my cashier rang them up.  This means a 100 MPH fastball... for free!!!  Just owning the cereal made me so fast that I almost ran over 2 engineers in the parking lot with my shopping cart.  I ran the forty meters in 1 minute...is that fast?  I didn't even cough like Zoltek on Little Giants.

I like how the 's' on 'flakes' covers the olde English D to make it more generic.  It also kind of looks like a rally babushka (that's another story).

This is kind of hard to read, but it says, "Guaranteed to increase strength, tone, and endurance of throwing arm.  Throw up to 10 MPH faster!" 

This website on the back of the box is pure gold: plbsports.com.  I had no idea that these were the makers of Flutie Flakes!  Everything is coming together for me!  My favorite product is probably Dustin Pedroia Black Bean Salsa.  Any Kurt Warner fans?  The Warner's Crunch Time shirt is only a dollar!  Can you say "collector's item?"

 The best part?  Some profit is donated to benefit the VA Hospitals in Detroit, MI & Ann Arbor, MI.  That's probably the best selling feature and it's not even listed on the box!  Go JV, Go veterans of MI, and Go me!