Gifts for the crown

On Friday, SchEYEzer was able to get his twelfth win.  He pitched a great game, but it was thanks to the Triple Crown king himself, Miguel Cabrera.  He was 4 for 4, with three RBIs, two home runs, and just general awesomeness.  Even though most people were talking about Prince's massive home run off the catwalk, Miggy was really the difference maker.  Let me spell it out for you Maxxy, without Miggy, you don't get your twelfth win.

To thank The Man, here are some gift suggestions you can give as a thank you for continuing your best season to date:

• A gift card for a year's worth of hair cuts at Super Cuts.  He's gotta keep his hair "high and tight" as Rod says to keep his fade looking sweet.
• One of those dancing hula girls to go on the dash of his Porsche.  I feel like that would really class up his ride.
• A homemade bat carved out of a tree struck by lightning, preferably with a sweet name like WonderBoy.  Somehow, Chris Davis keeps hitting home runs (two yesterday!) and now has 30.  To keep pace, Miggy is going to need his own little brand of magic (legal magic, people).  A homemade bat molded from the sky is the perfect solution.
• A down payment to a Michigan born sculptor to begin the work on the Miguel Cabrera statue that will eventually grace Comerica Park's left field.  It's inevitable, might as well start preparing.
• A vacant building by the stadium to establish "Miggy's Place".  If Chelios can have Cheli's Chili, then why can't Miggy also start slinging over priced hamburgers and hot dogs to the masses?  Consider it a retirement plan.
• A Tampa Bay Rays hat, bill still flat and easily tilted to the left, so Miggy can dress up on Halloween as his favorite MLB player. 

While Maxxy is busy shopping for the perfect gift, Avisail Garcia is proving he's the smartest player on the team.  Every time the camera crew shows the dugout, he's sidled up next to either Cabby or Pricey Pie.  He's no dope.  He knows that these two mean business and have the most to offer a young player in the D.  His haircut is also so similar to Cabby's, except Avi has more height on his.  I don't have a current picture, but check it out the next time they flash to these two on the TV.

Tigers have been horrid during extra inning games this year, so winning in nine is imperative today (that's right, I busted out the big words).

Angels and Demons

It's official, the Angels own the Tigers.  They have their number.  They rock their socks off.  It's ridiculous.  The bad news is, the Tigers have lost all six games they've played against the Angels this season.  The good news, the Tigers don't have to play any more games against the Angels.  The Angels have a dismal record (36-43) and are 10 games out of the AL West...and let's hope it stays that way.  We can't meet them in the playoffs.  Can't.

While the Angels were the Tigers rivals the first three months of the season, the White Sox are primed to be that rival for the last three months.  Hard to believe that the Tigers won't face the WSox until July 9th.  That's right, only a week before the All Star break.  How does that scheduling happen?  Even though the WSox are nine games back in the Central, they are as unpredictable against the Tigers as the Angels.  Let's take our lesson from the Angels and beef up against the south side.

Tonight, Maxxy Pooh goes for his twelfth win, trying to start 12-0.  I'll be watching, I might even bring a rally cap.  We all have to contribute in our own ways, people.

Ugly

Only one word for the game last night: Ugly.  If I was a nineties cheerleader, I'd even spell it out and tell you that you lack an alibi.  Six errors with the Angels (or the Halos as Mario keeps saying, think he used to work for them, or what?) scoring 14.  The sad thing is, the Tigers still scored 8, which in most games, gets them the win.  As a wise Sister Tigress once said, let's hope they get it out of their system.

In honor (or dishonor) of that hideous loss, I'd like to reference my previous post and identify the ugliest mugs on the Tigers through the eyes of the Tigress.  Pictures used to evaluate the aesthetics of the face were taken from the team website.  Candidates include:

Jose Alvarez- Even though he is doing a great job filling in for Sanchez, Jose's a little on the homely side.  A smile wouldn't hurt of course, but maybe he was nervous for his official team picture.  Maybe?

Joaquin Benoit- Mr. Tiger refers to him as Diablo because of his "intense" stare and general demeanor.  His "ingrown" hair on his face from the 2011 playoffs is also imprinted on my brain, permanently.

Phil Coke- Admittedly, I don't think Phil is as unappealing as his picture indicates, but this just goes to show that good photography is key.  So is grooming before the picture is taken.  Maybe get a hair cut, or rethink your facial hair.  All of it.

Andy Dirks- Again, I don't think Dirty is a bad looking dude (in fact, the Canadian girl I sat next to last week wanted to jump his bones pretty bad); however, face positioning is everything.  If you know you have a huge neck, maybe tilt your head down a little.  Or do a profile shot.  Something, anything other than the picture for Dirty below.

Those are my candidates.  Now, I know what you are thinking, what about SchEYEzer?  Well, I dig his look.  It's unique and he embraces it instead of hiding.  I'm team Maxxy on this one.  I thought I'd put it below, just to give you a peek.  I also didn't include Alburquerque.  I don't agree with JV on this one.  Even best friends can disagree.

After careful consideration and three tie breaker votes (I'm tough to negotiate with), we here at the Tigress have reached our decision.  The ugliest mug on the Tigers is: Joaquin Benoit.  That would have been my answer yesterday, but I'm glad I went through the scientific process and gave him a chance to prove himself. That being sad, there's no hate for Benoit, only love.

I also hope that Benoit rests easy that if the pool were expanded to include coaching staff, then Gene Lamont would win hands down.  Like, by a landslide.

Golf foursome

VIDEO

I was stumbling around the Internet (you can really do that now.  Thanks, Al Gore!) and I found this hilarious interview with Justin Verlander.  It’s worth the ten minute watch (make sure to stay until the very end).  After you watch, trust me you want to watch first, here are some gems I garnered from this interview:

1. Tuey almost got himself sent back down to Single A Whitecaps by almost pegging Miggy in the head with a foul ball.  How did JV and I both miss that?
2. JV wears his pants so tight because he has great legs and butt.  First, no argument here.  Second, I also use this argument regularly.  I too have no upper body strength but could kick my way out of a jam if need be.
   
3. Verdiggity picked Al Alburquerque as the ugliest player on the team?  Really?  I’m pretty sure there are uglier guys.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll explore this on a future date.
   
4. JV is a vicious older brother.  He would peg his brother to show him who is boss.  I bet he also beat his brother in public when they were kids, knowing he can’t scream or he would get in trouble.  Sister Tigress used this method often, perfecting the pinch and twist on my inner arm.
5. JV plays a lot of golf, and I mean a lot.  I’m hoping these are off season games and he isn’t using his days off trolling around Detroit area golf courses, trying to squeeze in 18 before the game starts.  I know a recently retired Tiger in Detroit who frequents golf courses.  I’ll tell him to start looking for JV.  If he sees him, I hope he would give him a stern talking to.  At least he answered the no-hitter or hole-in-one question correctly.
   
6. I would love to see JV ask Smokes if he can go in and hit.  If the Tigers are in a pinch late in an NL game, he’d be an option…right?

The question about the best foursome brings up a question for me, if I could have dinner (or play golf, or play ping pong, or weed the garden, or whatever) with three of the Tigers, who would I choose?  It’s maybe the toughest question I’ve ever had to answer.  Here are my choices:

1. Dougie Fresh- If you don’t pick your Tiger for this question, then he’s not REALLY your Tiger.  I’d probably ask Dougie to stand next to me and use my head as a coaster.  He’s a foot (and then some) taller than me.  I’d look like a Munchkin or tween girl.
2. Miguel Cabrera- Not only is he the best hitter in baseball, but he also seems like a pretty sweet guy (remember he waved at me the other day).  I also hear he is hilarious.  Remember Miggy Poco?  If not, Google it.  Now.
3. This last one would be difficult to pick.  If Laird was still on the team, I’m pretty sure I would pick him and Verlander since they were comedic gold.  Torii Hunter’s antics this year have been pretty hilarious, especially when he asked the second base umpire to help him up and then acted like dead weight.  If I wanted an intellectual conversation, I might ask SchEYEzer or Avila since I’m pretty sure those two are the brains of the operation.  As it sits, I’d pick Verlander and try to get him to antagonize the other two as much as possible.  As you can tell, I’m looking for highest average of laughs per minute to really get my money’s worth.

Think about it, who would you pick?  It’s harder than you think.

The Maxtermind

With Maxxy Pooh's win last night, he is the first Tiger ever to start 11-0.  SchEYEzer has always been good, our very own strikeout king, but it's true that he's in a whole different realm this season.  Yahoo Sports did an article on how all the Tiger pitchers play a game to guess what the starting pitcher will throw next (you can read it here, and it's an interesting article, but how does SchEYEzer's eye condition make him Harvey Dent? That's a stretch of a metaphor, something I NEVER do- winky face).

Maxxy is very into sabermetrics (which is the real star of Moneyball, contrary to what Brad Pitt would have you believe) and uses statistics before and after the game to adjust his approach to pitching.  Verdiggity's comments during the game last night pretty much summed it up.  Maxxy is good at what he does, but it's a little over JV's head.  He'll stick with what he knows and leave SchEYEzer to what he knows.  That's why they excel in different areas and complement each other as the starting two.

It's also true that Dougie, Sanchez, and Ricky P round out the rotation as well.  In fact, if the Tigers starting rotation were a family of brothers, these would be their roles.

Oldest brother- Sanchez appears the most responsible of the Tiger bunch.  He's most consistent, getting record strikeouts (17 folks) and near no-hitters almost every season.  First borns are known perfectionists, and Sanchez is as close to that as anyone.  He's been the balancing force to the Tiger lineup since joining last year.  Before they were a hodgepodge of flamethrowers, but Sanchez brought depth and melded the lineup together.

Second oldest brother- Often the most quiet and reserved, Dougie Fresh goes about his business but gets the job done. He often flies under the radar and doesn't demand a lot of attention or fanfare.  Don't try and sneak anything past Dougie though.  He's extremely efficient and has records of his own to compete with the oldest brother (nine in a row, beat that Sanchez) but would never physically challenge his brothers to a fight.

Middle brother- The most compromising of the bunch, Verdiggity is the middle child that tries and keeps everyone together.  He's serious when he has to be (on the mound), but a jokester on off days, keeping everyone entertained.  He's a natural communicator and often talks with the commentators during the game, giving his trademark toothy grin and chuckle.  Don't let him fool you though, he's the one to instigate a fight or bet if need be.  If you have any question about how tricky he can really be, just ask Donnie Kelly how quickly a foot can heal from a burn.

Second youngest brother- SchEYEzer is the thinker of the group, the one that will go to college and be a doctor or lawyer.  He's good with numbers, but has the raw, natural talent to accompany his mind.  Although he's the thinker, he's the bridge between the middle and youngest child and uses his own humor to bind the five together.  Oh ya, he's also got the best start in the majors right now.  Not that he's one to brag to mom and dad.

Youngest brother- Obviously, it's Ricky P.  The actual youngest of the bunch, he's also the one that gets away with murder (remember the nine run first inning?!), but always seems to turn it around.  A favorite with those in charge (in this case, the ladies), we forgive him for things that the older brothers couldn't fathom doing.  He has charm and a slight shoulder shrug as if to say, "Hey, my bad."  You can't stay mad at Ricky P.

Together, they are the best rotation in the majors, primed to have the most strikeouts in the majors.  Oh ya, and really fun to watch.

The designation part 2

Seems we have many sequels in Tigress land lately.  Today's sequel involves everyone's least favorite tuber, Papa Potato.  If you remember, the Tigers releases Potato (and Suckburn and Delmon) after their loss in the World Series last year.  Somehow, he made his way back onto the payload, not only in the minors, but he was brought up to the majors.  After several debacles involving giving up runs in the ninth inning, the Tigers have decided to designate Potato for assignment, hoping he will sign with the Mud Hens.

First, let's not get too excited.  Potato is not gone, just hiding above your fridge in the cupboard you can't reach without a stool, slowly rotting and waiting to release his smell when the Tigers are really in the playoff hunt.  Dave Dom already said they wouldn't keep him in Toledo for an extended period of time.  Get the hint, Dom.  Tell him to hit the road.

Second, no one is going to sign or trade for Potato.  He spent the first month of the season unsigned...for a reason.  Teams are not going to suddenly value his decreased capacity to handle save situations since the last time he was available to sign.  Sorry, we are stuck with him.

I'm sure we haven't heard the last of Potato.  Also, in case you don't know, we are talking about Jose Valverde (shells and cheese).  The only way to make him more bearable is to give him a funny name, grin, and bear it.

Pants party 2: Revenge of the cuff

Sometimes, an even comes along that changes the course of history, changes the course of the city.  When these events happen, the most natural course of action is to declare a national holiday.  That'd probably be a little rash, but here's my proposal, Zubaz Pants Day as a city holiday in Detroit.  There's no better day to be at the ball park than Zubaz pants day.  People are friendlier, drinks taste better, and the good people at the Tigers promotions give things away quicker than I can grab them.

To start the day, myself and my three companions (let's call them the League of Awesome), parked in our usual spot by Ford Field and decided to walk around the back of the stadium instead of in the front by the giant tiger.  We happen to be walking past the Tigers parking garage and saw two kids standing next to a Porsche with Florida plates with pens and a baseball.  If Aunt Tigress has taught me anything in the years she took me to baseball games, it's to always keep your eyes open and look for opportunities to see our favorite players.  I suggested a quick "roll up" next to the car (well, parallel with it since it was across the street).  Even though the windows were deeply tinted, it was pretty apparent that it was none other than Miguel Cabrera behind the wheel.  He looked our way, but I'm not one to approach and get an autograph (in retrospect, I wish we would have gotten a picture but c'est la vie), so I did what any Tigress would do.  I shouted, "Have a good game" and blew him a kiss. He gave me the wave and smiled.  I seem to be yelling things to players, coaches, GMs a lot lately.  It's my new M.O.

After a quick bite downstairs at Hockeytown, we headed up to the roof for our pants party.  We happen to be the first people there, and were handsomely rewarded with some Zubaz glasses.  They are extremely cool and kind of hard to see out of.

We also snagged bottle and can koozies, a bottle opener, and some type of light up necklace.  Once the party got started, we found out that there was no trivia contest this year, just a raffle for additional prizes.  Kind of a bummer since we had studied in the car and I had written things down of importance (Cabby has 340 total home runs, George Mullin was the last Tiger to start 10-0, etc).  The raffle ticket did serve a purpose though, I tried to stick it to my forehead.  I have a very strange belief that things will stick to my forehead, like it's caked in tape like the Sticky Bandits.  Good news is, the ticket only fell in my drink once.  We didn't win any prizes this year, but that's ok.  Let the other fans have a chance to win.

The best part of any party though is meeting new friends.  We met a lot of people who were jealous of our pants, a group of girls who had snack necklaces to help them fuel up (Cheez-its, peanuts, and pretzels strung on yarn, great idea, or greatest idea?), a friendly guy from Constantine, and two wonderful ladies from Canada who kept making fun of my accent.

I personally don't Twitter (or tweet or twit or whatever) but we were the official picture of Zubaz pants day yesterday on Tigers Twitter.  The guy in charge of Twitter even came to find us at the park to let us know.  In fact, they remembered us from last year.  That's how you know that you lived Zubaz pants day the right way.

Look ma, I'm on Twitter

Aside from all the awesome that the League had, soft J hit a walk off home run to end the game.  Nothing tastes so good as a walk off home run to start the series.  I also hear that Cabby was jumping around like a ten year old on his first All Star team.  Must have been the encouragement he got before the game.

...And company

Unfortunately, the Tigs lost the series to Baltimore 1-2, proving that the O's are not a team to be messed with.  Those kids can hit the ball.  Now on to a four game series against the BoSox and the Tigers need to take three to make it a successful weekend.  I'll be there tomorrow for Zubaz pants day.  I'll be looking so fresh and so clean, pretty fly for a white guy, and flat out fabulous.

Unless you've been living under a rock, Miggy and Princey-Pie are on the cover of Sports Illustrated, listed as the Bash Bros (I think they got that name from reading the Tigress, just saying).  I haven't got my copy yet, but I intend to.  Miggy looks pretty serious while Princey has a half smile thinking about the millions of dollars he's making.

It's true these two have been RBI machines this year, but I'd like to highlight the "and company" part of what should have been on the cover "Bash Bros and company."  Two guys can't win a series and there are three guys that have been overlooked.

First, major shout out to Torii Hunter.  Sunday he hit his 300th home run and I completely forgot to give him some kind of shout out.  To make up for it, I'm giving him the scream out.  It's like a shout out, but to the third power.  300 home runs is a huge accomplishment, and I'm proud to have him do it as a member of the Tigers.  Congrats kid.

Next, let's give a warm welcome back to AJax.  We missed you!  In fact, I don't think I realized how much we missed him until he came back and started hitting the living snot out of the ball.  He was three for four on Monday with two runs, for gnome's sake!  (You remember the Tiger gnomes I got for Christmas.  No?  Well here's a picture to make you jealous.)

Lastly, let's give it up for Tuey.  He's the biggest surprise for me this season and I can see why Smokes likes him: he's clutch in pinch hitting situations.  Today he pinch hit for Donnie Kelly (I know!  Color me surprised too.  I'm sure Donnie is still Smokes' favorite though) and got a clutch two run double.  I'd say he's earned his spot and should still see some playing time even with AJax back in the lineup.

Which of these guys will be the stand out tomorrow?  Only time will tell.  Probably the guy that appreciates the Zubaz the most.

Ode to SchEYEzer

If Verdiggity is always the bride of the Tigers' pitching staff, then SchEYEzer is always the bridesmaid.  A superstar in his own right, but always mentioned behind his Cy Young and MVP teammate.  Well, Maxxy has long established himself as dominate, but now he finally has a record and accolades pouring in.  He was pumped too.  You could tell he wanted it.  The first 10-0 start for a Tiger since 1909 and the first in MLB since 1997 (some no name started off 10-0 that year, someone called Roger...Roger Clemens).  To celebrate such a fantastic achievement, we here at the Tigress (mainly just me, but the cat helped out) wrote an ode to Maxxy-Pooh.

Oh Maxxy, my Maxxy, history you have made
When your contract is due, make sure you get paid.
The best trade in recent history, he came from the west,
Edwin and Curtis who?  It's not even a contest!

Oh Maxxy, my Maxxy, with eye so crystal blue, and eye of chocolate brown.
He's the best of both worlds, dominate on the mound.
He's the strikeout king of Detroit, leaving batters looking a fool.
SchEYEzer, in the words of twelve year old Tigress, YOU RULE!

If the Tigers can get a solid closer, then there's no stopping them this year.  My suggestion is to trade for a closer.  Personally, I would trade Porcello and/or Dirks and get a closer (anyone but Fernando Rodney, he can keep his sideways cap in Florida).  Now, I appreciate Ricky P and think he's a great pitcher, but Smyly can easily start as well and we NEED a closer.  As for Dirks, he's another solid player, but the Tigers seem to be full of outfielders (blame it on Smokes).  I would suggest making Benoit the closer, but Smokes keeps resisting and he's not the most reliable person.

OK, that's my ode and rant for the day.  Only two more days until Zubaz!

What not to wear: Tigress edition

As we roll right through the middle of June, many of you are commenting that you are attending games in the near future.  It's always a struggle to decide what to wear to the games, especially with Michigan's ever-changing weather.  Here are some guidelines to follow based on the median temperature of the three to four hours you will be at the game:

40s- These games are usually in March or October, but I've sat through some pretty chilly May games as well.  I suggest wearing double layer pants, thick socks, boots or waterproof shoes, multiple layers of shirts, a sweatshirt or jacket, and all the Tiger winter accessories you can find (hat, mittens, scarf, babuska).

50s- Only one layer of pants is necessary here, but don't skimp on the foot coverage.  There's nothing worse than sitting and trying to pay attention when your feet are cold.  Keep the layers on top, you can always take or add things as necessary.  A hat wouldn't be a bad idea either.

60s- Keep the long pants, but the option is open for a little rolling so keep your socks low.  A t-shirt and light jacket or long sleeve should be sufficient, especially if it's a day game.  Don't forget your baseball hat and sunscreen!

70s- It's surprising how warm 75 can feel, especially after sitting through games in October.  If it's a day game, shorts are a must at this point.  Short sleeves are good and if the sun disappears for half an inning, have a long sleeve handy to throw on.

80s and above- The number one thing you should have with you is your unopened bottle of water (to get past security) and sunscreen.  Remember to keep things PG though, this isn't an audition for a rap video.

With these guidelines in mind, here are some rules to follow as well.  A mini What Not to Wear for any true Tiger fan.

• Leggings are not pants.  They are meant to go under dresses and skirts.  No one wants to see your camel toe.
• High heels are impractical when walking up and down wide concrete steps.  I know you think your butt looks better when you wear them, but your number one objective at a game should not be picking up guys.  It should be watching a baseball game.  Crazy concept, I know.
  
• Guys, please keep your shirts on.  If you are worried about a farmer tan, go ahead and roll up your sleeves.  For the sake of Brother-in-Law Tiger, don't wear skinny strap tank tops either.  It's weird and everyone is staring at your armpit hair.
  
• If the weather isn't going to be above 55, don't wear shorts or flip flops.  You aren't being hard core, you are being ridiculous.  We play a game called "Who will freeze?" when we go to playoff games.  Don't be the one we pick.
• If you go to more than three games a year, buy a Tiger shirt.  Trust me, it will pay for itself in the end.  If you only go to one game a year, it isn't COMPLETELY necessary to buy a shirt, but at least wear something practical.  Your shirt should not have glitter, sparkles, ruffles, or be meant for wearing at a night club.  
• No wearing the opposing team's apparel though.  That's just an unbreakable rule.
• Your clothing can be pink, green, or even bright yellow with the Detroit logo on it.  I'm not one of those purists who thinks you can only wear orange or blue.  For years, women were forced to wear men's t-shirts that fit poorly and were kind of blah.  Now there are so many wonderful options that let us express our style but still show our support for the Tigers.
  

The number one thing to bring to the Tiger games though is your party shoes, because when the Tigers have a four and a half game lead in the AL Central, every game is a party.

Summer in the D

In true Tigress tradition, here's a song to celebrate the true start of summer...when I no longer have to work!

Summer in the D

Humid town, Summer in the D
Papa Potato getting stung by a bee
Always screwing up, poor JV
Never seems to get run support, or is it just me?

All around, Tigerettes cheering loudly
Rooting on the Tigers, wearing orange proudly

At Comerica it's a magical world
It's paradise for a girl
Dougie, Cabby, Jhonny
All make me weak in the knees.

And kids, we're going back to the series
I'll be there, being super cheery
During the summer, in the D
Through the fall, in the D.

So glad that my summer officially started today and not yesterday when Potato screwed everyone over.  It's an off day today, a day we can all recover from our losing hangover.  It's also the one week countdown to Zubaz Pants day.  Can't get more summer than Tiger printed pajama pants.

Tiger in KC

From the last Tigress blog post, you can tell I love the fan experience of games.  Fans interacting, people meeting each other, becoming fast friends, trying to talk with players, traditions, memories, and fun.  There are some people out there that get it more than others.  I think one of them lives in Kansas City.  This man dresses in a Tiger costume for every game at Kansas City for the past couple of years.  Rario often comments on it.  I noticed him yesterday, mainly because he has one of the best seats in the house, right to the right of home plate (from the perspective of standing on the mound).

This is a dedicated fan, and today he brought a little friend to the game, a small Tiger hand puppet.  I did notice that the little friend only came out while the Tigers were batting.  If there's one thing I love, it's puppets (not mascots, those are humans dressed as animals and that's just creepy).  A puppet is a special thing because you control its actions, yet act as if it's a separate person.  Why is Jeff Dunham so funny?  Because he convinces you that he's interacting with cloth and foam on his hand.

If I ever win the lottery and no longer have to work, I'd love to travel from stadium to stadium and meet these dislocated Tiger fans who come out to see the Tigers even though they no longer live in Michigan.  I would probably get to meet a lot of sweet A people that way, including Mr. Tigerman.

The bullpen

Sister Tigress and I made the trip today to Comerica for not only player photo day, but an added bonus was getting my first experience sitting behind the Tigers bullpen and getting to see Alvarez make his major league debut.  The whole day was an experience and a half.  Buckle your seat belts kids, and take a seat on the Tigress train.

The tickets that we purchased were in section 148, row A.  With our seats came a parking pass that was not labeled very clearly.  After several attempts (props to the Tigers parking staff for continuing to direct a lost Tigress to the correct location), we ended up parking in the same garage that the Tigers themselves park in.  After a walk down a flight of stairs, boom, we ended up right at the beer hall.  Unfortunately, I was not able to steal a cereal bowl from a small child.  Earlier in the week, Sister Tigress and I hypothesized that we could get a bowl easy because the small children don't 1. wear the bowls or 2. play with the bowls.  Personally, that sounds like a challenge to me and I can both wear and play with a bowl if given the chance.

We immediately got on the field and were one deep for the fan photos.  Although we didn't get any pictures WITH the players, we got some good ones OF the players.  First up was Mini Miggy giving some good face.

Vmart was traveling with him, and they kind of seem like buddies.

The coaches came by next.  Here are the things I shouted at each coach:
To Lamont, I shouted, "Gene, I love you in the dugout!"

To Jeff Jones (Unibrow), I shouted, "Jeff, awesome pitching staff this year.  Keep it up"!  He laughed at me.

To Smokes, all I could shout was, "Smokes!  Jimmy Smokes!"  I get a little tongue tied sometimes...

I even got a semi-picture with Smokes.  By that I mean, Smokes was in the background of my picture and was vaguely aware that I was the one that just kept yelling at people.

If there was one guy who was loving some fan photo day, it was Brayan Pena.  He just seems to be loving his place with the Tigers and we could use more people like him.  Pena was kissing babies, giving high fives, and hugging just about everyone.

Someone who was a little out of his element, was Luke Putkonen.  He was walking around with Debbie Downer and wasn't really approaching people like the other players.  Some people are just more shy, or think they are better than other people.  The jury is out on Luke.

After that, we headed to our seats.  These were some sweet A seats.  We had a direct line of sight into the bullpen.  It was like peeking into the secret world of relief pitchers, or the Real Throwing Arms of Detroit.  As the players walked out to the bullpen to sit, I said hi to several players (again, can't shut up).  Here's the key when talking to players, use their first names and know something about them.  Also, be a woman (winky face).

First up was Papa Potato.  He was walking by and I kept shouting "Potato!"  He turned and waved to me.  I think Potato likes his new nickname.  Then, Benoit walked by and he gave me the hand wave.

When Coke walked by, he tipped his cap to me.  He must think he's a gentleman.  Cokie is also quite the jokester.  He was hassling Suckburn out in left field.  Speaking of which, I predicted that Suckburn would be out in left and I would get to shout "Raburn!" every chance I got!  Don't worry Detroit, I did my civic duty and heckled Suckburn and let him know what we think of him.  You're welcome.

Alvarez had a great first game getting the win.  It was kind of heart warming because Smokes came up to him before the game to give him a little pep talk.  Here's how I imagine it going down:
Smokes: Hi kid, how you feeling?
Alvarez: Good, good.
Smokes: This is a big moment for you.  Something you are always going to remember.  Thirty years from now, you'll be telling your grandkids about the day you started your first MLB game.
Alvarez: Yup, yup.
Smokes: You can either make it great or make it mediocre.  Let's make it great!  Don't shit the bed.
Alvarez: Yes, yes sir.

All in all, it was a great game.  Today's Shout Out is a little unique.  I've talked before about how being a bullpen catcher is a dream job.  You do minimal work and get all the glory of hanging out with the players.  The Shout Out goes to bullpen catcher Jeff Kunkel.  Not only does he do a great job warming up the pitchers and supervising the general bullpen area, but today he made a guy's day.  In the section next to us, there was a man in his mid 20s with a developmental disability.  He had a ball and a Sharpie, and he asked Kunkel to sign his ball for him.  Now, any normal bullpen catcher could have done one of two things.  1.  Ignore him, or 2. sign the ball knowing that he doesn't really know who you are.  Instead, Kunkel took the ball into the bullpen and had 5 or 6 relief pitchers sign the ball for him.  I've never seen someone so excited.  He kept recapping it for everyone around him and talking about how excited he was.  He made that guy's day, and we here at the Tigress love people who go out of their way to make others happy.  Go Kunkel!

To cap off our day, we saw a very special person as we were exiting the Tigers' garage.  I looked up and saw the Master Brow himself!  Slick Davey.  I just pointed and barely got a word out.  Sister Tigress shouted, "Great job putting together this team!  Great game, Dave."  He gave us the wave.  Then, I finally gathered my composure long enough to shout, "Extend Miggy's contract!"  He gave a head nod.  I take that as a good sign.  Just doing my job as a fan.
Of course, Donnie Kelly saves the day and gets a three run home run, which is better than any Suckburn solo home run any day.  Tigers take the sweep, fun had by all, and memories made.

90s sports movies

Summer is almost here, which means two things: 1.  More time to fill your brains with useless Tigress dribble, and 2. Living the dream.  Sunday Sister Tigress and I are going to the photo day at Comerica, which is going to be all kinds of awesome.

To get in the mood for summer, I watched the 90s classic, Ladybugs, yesterday starring the somehow famous Rodney Dangerfield.  It got me thinking, what are the best sports movies geared towards children that were made in the 90s (I know that you are also dying to know since it's a very specific genre).  For your viewing pleasure:

5. Little Giants (1994)- It's the classic story of a tomboy who wants to get the attention of a boy (not just any boy, but 90s heart throb Devon Sawa!)  What really caps off the movie though is a special guest appearance from some of our favorite football heroes, including John Madden (with pen and all!), Emmitt Smith, and some other guys that aren't as important as these two.  The lesson all babies of the 90s learned?  Never mess with your younger sibling (winky face).

4. Angels in the Outfield (1994)- If this movie brought nothing else, it brought the random person in the outfield who stands up and flaps his arms during the game.  Not only is Joseph Gordon-Levitt the star (he's Robin now, kids!) but Tony Danza plays a down-on-his-luck pitcher.  The casting office must have been pretty desperate.  Nothing tugs at your heart strings more than orphans who can see dead people.  It's kind of like the Sixth Sense but with less blood and puke.  I did keep waiting for Bruce Willis to show up though.

3.  Rookie of the Year (1993)- Gosh Henry, you could play for the Cubs!  The exclamation that started a sensation.  90s kids sports movies were never based in logic.  The fact is that a 12 year old would never play professional baseball.  It didn't matter, we all believed that Henry's freakish accident actually made him qualified to pitch for a National League team (couldn't pick an AL team where he would never have to bat.  Oh, no, that's too easy).  How many people tried to recreate the baseball slip in order to get great arm strength.  It's ok, me too.  Full of great sound bites, it's a summer classic and a must watch before you head to Wrigley.

2.  Mighty Ducks (1992)- It's not worth winning, if you can't win big.  Words to live by really, until Gordon Bombay learns the ultimate lesson about team work and fair play (cue the violins).  Except for the fact that he was pretty insistent on getting Banks on the team, that didn't seem like the best sportsmanship.  I guess as a preteen, you are supposed to over look that.  Mighty Ducks produced a generation of kids that quacked at authority figures and thought the flying V was a legitimate hockey move (I've been told that it's easy to break up defensively.  Thanks for getting my hopes up Bombay).  Best part of Mighty Ducks, even if you think you're coach was a jerk, he's nothing compared to Riley.  "You're not even a has-been, you're a never-was (pops collar)."

1.  Space Jam (1996)- It's the best because no other sports movie brought back a beloved sports star to the sport he was actually good at.  Michael was smart enough to make fun of his experience as a baseball player and get in on the joke instead of just being the butt.  The technology of the 90s was a little crass, but it was magical to see cartoon characters and people interact (ala Who Framed Roger Rabbit or DJ Scat Cat). This movie had everything, including an amazing soundtrack.  They don't make them like this anymore kids.

On the rare day that the Tigers have an off day, instead of channel surfing, grab one of these classics and dip into the nostalgia.  Trust me, they are better than Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch.

Ohio

Anytime the Tigers are doing well, everyone seems to enjoy the celebrating.  When the Tigers continually lose in extra inning games or in the ninth (looking at you Papa), it's, "Oh Tigress, what's going on with your Tigers?"

I'll gladly take them as my Tigers and you should too.  Don't abandon ship now, friends!  There's a little rough patch, but I have hope.  The Tiger pitchers are lighting it up (They have an average of 9.85 strikeouts per nine innings this season, which leads both leagues.  Surprisingly, they have more strikeouts on the road and 11.47 on average over the past three games).  The bats need to heat up a little, but I'm not too concerned.  The Tigers have some great hitters on their team and just hit three home runs off Baltimore in the fourth inning (VMart, Soft J, and Avila...not even the bash brothers, although Cabby just hit a grand salami so he didn't want to be shown up).

So don't lose hope, Tiger faithful.  Tigers are still atop the AL Central (we are sharing the spot with Cleveland only because we feel sorry for them).  Rod even called Tuiasosopo "Tuey" today, which means he's reading the blogs.  Go Rod.

While we are talking about Ohio, have you heard their new tourism campaign?  "Too much fun for just one day."  Baloney.  Don't try and tell me that Ohio is friendly because "hi" is in their name either.  Ohio is trying to replicate the success of the Pure Michigan campaign (which are wonderful except for the one about Flint.  Really, Tim Allen, you are trying to draw people to Flint?  I thought we were trying to attract people, not scare them away).  Ohio will always be the armpit to Michigan's hand, down river and just slightly smellier.  Can't fool me!  At Polish American night at Comerica, we met a nice-enough couple from Ohio who told us that if we ever find ourselves in Cleveland for a game, we should check out this great little Polish restaurant (Sokolowskis I believe).  Sorry folks, it's rare I find myself in Ohio unless I've been forcibly dragged or am passing through trying to get to a better state.  If I ever "find myself" in Cleveland, there's only one thing I'll be looking for, and that's a way back up north.