In the booth with CMo

CMo is pinch hitting tonight.  Follow the Tigress during the game, watching through the eyes of CMo.

6:42- Road Dawg lets us know that Rod Allen is at an out of town wedding.  Cue the shot of Mario and CMo having a simulated conversation, much like we will be listening to for the next 3 hours or so.

6:45- Road Dawg makes a quip about CMO being 0-14 in pinch hitting situations.  Oh Road Dawg, no one is safe from your teasing.

6:49- Now Road Dawg is talking about Dougie Fresh’s junk.  Why couldn’t Keating be the new Rod Allen for tonight?  Maybe he’s only good scripted.  No, that’s not it.  Pretty excited to see Smyly again.  Hoping he lights it up and we can keep him up to be a long reliever as we get into September and hopefully October.

6:55- Fist bump initiated by Mario.  Maybe Mario is looking for his new bromance after The Field has refused all of his advances.

7:05- Second voice crack for CMo.  Is it nerves or the second coming of his puberty?

7:07- Mario’s talking a lot at this point.  I think he forgot to take a breath at one point.  Now CMo is name dropping and talking about how he used to work out with Torii Hunter.  That’s something Rod doesn’t have.  The guys he played with are long gone.

7:18- CMo is excited and recapping what it’s like to show up ready to play a game!  His voice gets raspy and he definitely has a menacing giggle.  He seems like one of those guys who still talks about his high school football games as if they were broadcasted on ESPN.  If only he had a time machine to go back to the 80s.  He could probably throw that football over the mountain…

7:20- CMo makes one of the most obvious comments so far.  “In DHing, all you have to think about is hitting.”  Really, this is what I have to listen to for the next eight innings?

7:24- First disappointment of the day.  Even though we haven’t had any adjectives for the high definition ad in a while, I was kind of hoping that CMo would have one ready.

7:28- Flashback to CMo playing, it was inevitable.  Mario also complimented him on his defense.  Oh Mario, you are such a charmer.

7:31- Prince Fielder is the worst slider…EVER.  It’s not even a contest.  I agree with CMo with his commentary of “AHHH.”  Also I like that he called him out on his “tumble” rather than slide.

7:40- Way to go CMo!  He says something about Vernon Wells being a talent and then BOOM, a home run.  Way to jinx it.

7:42- Mario: “What happened there?”  CMo: (crickets chirping).  Best response to a Mario question?  Silence. 

7:45- Justin White misses CMo.  I knew they were BFFs.  CMo is having fun with the big boys though.

7:47- CMo was superstitious about playing ball.  I think he still is about being a TV personality.  Maybe he hits up Taco Bell with Verdiggity.

7:54- CMo gives his shout out to the Tiger “Greats.”  Funny how the people he mentioned are both on staff for Dombrowski.  Me thinks CMo likes his job broadcasting, but wouldn’t turn down a job in the front office either.

8:02- WTF!  Jackson never drops the ball!  Even if he got turned around CMo, he had it in his glove.  Sounds like CMo also likes to look at the instant replay before he makes an informed opinion.  The professionals go on instinct my man.

8:05- “That’s cold.”  Good catchphrase.

8:08- The almost foul ball would have been the perfect opportunity for Mario and CMo to do their John Candy impression from Rookie of the Year.  “It’s foul!”  “It’s fair!” 

8:15- Words that start with vowels are the most difficult for CMo to get out, articulation-wise.  Occupational hazard that I notice these things.

8:19- Should have done a tally to see how many times they reference CMo’s glory days as a player.  Seriously, if he isn’t Uncle Rico, I don’t know who is.

8:21- Even with one camera, CMo still doesn’t really know where to look.  Someone should have put a sign over the camera that said “Look here!”

8:26- CMo can’t make it as a shortstop but says that those “Latin guys” are so much better.  Watch out generalizing an entire group of people, CMo.  There’s also a way that CMo just said “Yes it was” that was Allen-ish.  I bet he was studying Rod tapes for days.

8:33- Again, CMo’s insights about Adrian Gonzalez are eye opening.  “He’s a good hitter.”  Thanks Captain Obvious.

8:40- How is the Scott’s poll question not about CMo? Disappointment number 2 of the night.

8:47- Ryan Mallet is the backup for Tom Brady?  Wow, even CMo can spread some knowledge on me.

8:54- Cabby was letting the four letter words fly!  Don’t they have a 2 second delay on sports?

8:56- CMo just pulled out “I see ya.”  Mario says to get his own shtick.  You would think that CMo would have jotted down some catch phrases last night for just such an occasion.  CMo claims it’s a tribute.  Sure.

9:01- CMo roots fro Soft J because he’s wearing his old number.  Side note, my old number 42 is forever retired (especially now that Rivera has been out of commission) so I don’t have this same feeling.

9:13- Throughout the game, there have been moments when Mario and CMo have started talking at the same time.  Not his fault.  It’s takes two to tango…or something like that.  Plus Rario has hours of on air time to practice their perfectly choreographed banter.

9:22- Going back to superstitions, if the Tigers pull out the win, I’d want CMo back for tomorrow’s finale.

9:27- “You can’t win scoring one run.”   Right you are Smokes.  He must be reading the blog.

9:37- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were hanging out with Paws!  I wish they would have invited me.  I always wanted to be April O’Neil.

9:39- CMo calls Hunter Spiderman.  Random!  Props to Hunter though.  He had a mad catch and as CMo pointed out, it’s not his ball park.

9:42- “He likes that cheese.  He’ll jump on it.”  Now those are some good catch phrases CMo, although I think Rod has the hold on any reference to “cheese.”  You can claim the "jump on it" from Sir Mix A Lot though.

9:46- LaTroy Hawkins is another friend of CMo’s.  We also learn he’s moving to Austin, Texas.  So, not a Motor City boy after all.

9:47- CMo’s number came through!  Might need to keep CMo around folks.  “27 coming through for CMo.”

9:53- I love a two out rally…

9:59- CMo likes Tigerberry.  Who doesn’t I guess, but I wonder if CMo looks at him and sees a reflection of himself.  No, it’s too late in the evening to be making these deep reflections.

10:02- “Come on, big ‘em.”  That’s all I can guess that CMo said.  He’s very excited about getting to see Papa Potato dance.  I think even Rod knows that the dance is not something that is respectable.  And yes CMo, you were 0-14 pinch hitting.  Remember, the Road Dawg called you out before the game.

10:04- “Do your dance Papa Grande.”

Let’s recap the performance.  It’s hard to come in and do a job that someone else has been doing.  It’s why I’ve never tried to substitute teach.  CMo did pretty well.  I’d give him a 7 out of 10.  He definitely has a hard time getting his words out, but he has enthusiasm and laughs a lot.  That’s always good.  Next time though, my vote is for the Road Dawg to pinch hit.