My sickly Tiger

Oh the woes of the Tigress.  My Dougie Fresh is feeling the strain of injury again, this time in his groin.  He "may" miss his next start.  Oh Dougie Fresh, what will I do with you!  Stay healthy!  If he happens to go on the DL or even just miss a start, this will have been the third time this season.  Nothing is as disappointing as when My Tiger can't even compete in the game.

Just once though, I'd like to see the headline read some a little more to the point.  For example:

Actual headline: Tigers' Doug Fister could miss next start with groin issue
Better headline: Dougie Fresh hurt his junk

Just saying.

G$ checks to make sure DF is ok.  Obviously "medical doctor" is implied in the dolla sign.

Guest bloggess

Just like any mother, sometimes it's nice to pass the baby off for a weekend and let someone else do the writing.  Today, we have Sister Tigress chiming in about her adventure to Comerica yesterday.  Any comments I deem appropriate are in brackets.

Sister Tigress here.  I ventured to a game without The Tigress yesterday and was awarded [rewarded, you didn't win anything] a guest spot on the blog.  I’m so nervous. [She should be]  However, I’m sure I’ll perform better than C-Mo when given the spotlight so that reassures me slightly. [Just look at the correct camera and you'll be fine]

We live just over 2 hours from the ballpark.  Going to a game is an event.  I wear Tiger apparel frequently so it’d be hard to tell whether I was dressed to go to a game or sit at home and watch.

Yesterday was a special event.  With 15 other people I boarded a bus to drive us to Comerica Park to watch the Tigers battle the Orioles.  Prior to departure I stopped at the gas station to get some bottles of water.  The attendant said, “Headed to the Tigers game today, maybe?”  Why, yes, I absolutely am.  Assess the situation…BBoesch teeshirt and jeans – fairly standard.  Must have been the three giant bottles of water and my Tiger print headband that pushed me over the edge of just looking “normal”. [Duh, although if you'd have had the Zubaz pants on then it would have been more obvious]

Highlights of the game included drinking beer the entire way there, taking pictures of friends with the Road Dawg prior to Tigers Live, Avila having two put outs and spending an amazing day with some fun friends.  However, there were also some rough spots along the way.  If the Tigers want to have a chance in the playoffs at all, they must iron ONE key thing…

SCORING RUNS! 

I took notes throughout the game [Notice the sloppy handwriting...perhaps they wouldn't have been so illegible if there the number one highlight of the day wouldn't have been drinking] so I’d be sure to remember the events.  It saddened me to look back on them only to discover wasted opportunities.  In the first inning the Tigers had the bases loaded with one out – Perralta hit into a double play.  Fortunately he redeemed himself in the 8^th inning with the Tigers only RBIs but alas, too little, too late.

The third inning started with a leadoff double and an intentional walk to Cabrera – AWESOME!  Weird, that resulted in no runs…the Tigers tried to make a move by having Dirks steal second after his swinging bunt.  He’s about the 10^th fastest guy on the team so that was obviously a good idea – wrong. [Agreed, the Tigers aren't known for their speed.  Also, if you ask Brad Pitt, he'd say stealing isn't as important as one would think.  It's all about on base percentage]

Alright, 6^th inning…Porcello’s pitching lights out. [No diggity]  Cabrera gets a leadoff hit, Fielder is suspected by Sister Tigress to be unintentionally, intentionally walked [Now she's a commentator, watch out Rod]…no outs, first and second, this is it!  Oh, an inning ending double play, where have I seen that before?

In the 8^th inning the team is down by 3 runs and the crowd decides that’s a good time to attempt the wave.  The Tigress has addressed this before so that is no need to elaborate on that ridiculousness.  As the bottom of the 9^th commenced and I heard Eye of the Tiger blasting over the park I thought for sure something special was about to happen.  Perralta had a 2-run single and the Tigers were down one when who I see making his way to the plate but My Tiger, Brennan Boesch. [Were all the other Tigers taken when you had to pick?]

One of the main points of having A Tiger is so you can cheer crazily for them when they are brought in to clutch situations and then rub your friends’ noses in the fact that Your Tiger RULES ALL when they come through.  Instead BBoesch grounded out – drat.

I liked having Perralta in the 5 spot yesterday and Smokes must have as well because he was back in there today. [And that was the Scotts Turf poll question today, and we all know that Smokes takes those seriously.  One day they asked, what's the best form of baseball to play?  Wiffleball, softball, something else ridiculous, or stickball.  Rod was cracking up at the stickball reference]

The Tigers just enjoyed an off day on Thursday but they have another tomorrow.  Let’s hope they spend some time figuring out how to score when they have runners on base.  I feel increasingly bad for the starting pitchers who are playing their hearts out and not being rewarded with wins. [Shakes head disappointingly at Dougie Fresh]

Maybe I’ll be invited back someday [let's see the ratings from today, maybe during sweeps week] but for now, Sister Tigress has left the building!

Day Off

Last night Rod and Mario were talking about what they are doing on their day off today.  This led to some serious speculation by the Tigress about what each Tigers player will be doing on their day off.  Let's start with our announcer friends, who were very vague on air with their off-day preferences.

Mario: Quite the rebel on off days.  He doesn't set an alarm and sleeps in to 10:15 (gasp!).  Then he takes his son outside and makes him hit 1,000 balls of the tee so he can follow in the footsteps of Rod, Smokes, and Kaline's kin and be drafted by the Tigers.  By the end of the day, the kid's gone all "Field of Dreams" and refuses to play catch with Mario.

Rod: He's having an 80s John Hughes marathon!  Always the purist, he decides to go in chronological order: Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, Weird Science, and finish with Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  He even dances along to Twist and Shout during the parade scene.

Phil Coke: Does 100 meter sprints all day long.  He gets faster and progressively more intense as the day goes on.  Eye of the Tiger, Philthy Phil.

Dougie Fresh: Spends all day searching You Tube for instructional videos on how to "Dougie" so that the next time the Tigress asks him, he can just bust a move.

Ricky P: Practices his pick up lines on the ladies at the local club. (Tries to get G$ to be his wing man but he's busy)  Some of his favs:
Do you have a Band aid?  I just scraped my knee falling for you.
You look cold.  Want to use me as a blanket?
You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.

SchEYEzer: He's heading to Cedar Point again with G$!  Watch out Top Trill Dragster, this time the goal is not to puke.

Papa Potato: He's on You Tube also, but unlike Dougie, he's researching the most obnoxious ways to celebrate.  Interestingly enough, five of the top ten videos are of himself...

Verdiggity: It's a Taco Bell night folks!  Tomorrow is game day.  To challenge himself, he'll ask that the manager hide one tomato in his food to increase his tolerance for the fruit.

Actual picture twittered by JV

Avila: Ice bath, followed by heat packs, followed by hot ice, followed by a 90 minute massage.  By the end of the day, he'll be able to move around again like a 40 year old.

Jeff Baker: Will take the day and explore his new city.  He'll make the mistake of wandering around downtown Detroit, not realizing that all the Tigers live in Birmingham or some other ritzy suburb.  He gets caught in a sticky situation and ends up having to call G$ to bail him out.  Too bad G$ is in Ohio riding the Blue Streak...

Cabby:  I don't know, what do All Stars do on their day off?  Spend time with their family?  Weed the garden?  Get a pedicure?  Probably all of the above.

The Prince: He's been on Pinterest this road series and has several recipes to test out.  My guess is he'll invite Cabby and G$ over to sample.  We all know where G$ is though.

Jhonny (Silent J): He's also in Ohio, but not with the boys at the Point.  He's with his family, but has to spend the next home series trying to the get stink of Ohio out of his chin strap.

Danny Worth: Playing AAA tonight, but still contemplating whether to unpack his suitcase this time.  Seems like every time he does, he just has to repack again.

Tigerberry: Same as Worth, contemplating the suitcase.   Decides to not unpack yet and tempt fate.  Also spends most of the day applying moisturizer and Icy Hot to his hands.

BBoesch: Tries to surf in Lake St. Clair...again.  After an unsuccessful day, he cuddles up with his TiVo and watches all the Shark Week specials he's been saving from the week.

Dirty Dirks: HAIR CUT!!!!  Probably wishful thinking on my part.

AJacks: Still in a glow from his visit home from Texas, he visits a local 4H club to practice his dressage on his favorite horse, Cinnamon.  After that, he tries barrel racing and calf roping.  He then issues a challenge to Suckburn that if he makes it back to the Tigs, they are having a full blown "country boy" contest.

Delmon: Best guess: Court (or MLB) appointed therapy and community service.

Tigress: Living the Dream for one more solid week before the summer is officially over.  Although, I could probably make the drive to Sandusky...

100 Ribbies

Congratulations to Miguel Cabrera for getting his 100th (and 101st) RBI last night.  It's also the quickest he's gotten to the milestone in only 117 games.  So, to honor the big man, here's an Ode to Miggy.

A man so sweet goes by many names
Miggy, Cabby, the Big Man.
He is definitely a favorite
with many a Tiger fan.

His smile is big
His handshakes are fly
He got arrested in Florida
Hey, he's just that kinda guy!

100 runs batted in
is not an easy task.
Jimmy Smokes must have helped
and took away his flask.

So congrats Miggy
don't shed any tearies.
Now let's finish this season
and make it to the World Series!

 One more plea.  I heard that Rod used the nickname "Dougie Fresh" last night, which we all know I've used since February.  Ipso facto, Rod Allen reads the blog (probably not but don't burst my bubble).  So Rod, help me spread the movement.  I'll even speak to you in Allenese, "Dirty Dirks needs a new fade.  He's looking a little raggedy."  It's even coming out of the back of his helmet.  *Shudder*

Homecoming

AJacks is from Texas.  I bet he has a cowboy hat and everything.  In honor of him being in his home state, he hit an inside the park home run on Friday. 

A rarity for sure, but usually made easier with a little help from a friend (or more than one friend in the case of Miggy earlier this year).  AJack's new BFF?  Nelson Cruz.  Thanks for the memories, buddy.

Last day in Texas, I bet AJacks took everyone to a barbeque last night after the game.  Little line dancing, little honky tonk, I bet he even swung a lasso.  Too much?

Comerica experience

60-50.  Ten games above .500.  That's exactly where the Tigers need to be at this point in the season.  6 wins in a row is pretty tasty too. 

One of the best things about this blog (besides the humor) are the features.  Here's a feature we haven't seen in a while...

COME ON!  If you remember, this is when a Tiger "fan", usually they are more spectator than true fan, does something ridiculous that bares repeating.  For today's COME ON!  I present the following scenario:

I'm in Hockeytown enjoying a beverage before Monday's game.  Tigers are set to play the Yankees and I'm soon in possession of the sweetest pants known to modern-day man.

My legs have never looked so good

I look over at a table of Tiger "fans" and see that one is wearing a Tigers Granderson jersey.  Now, I love Curtis.  He's a good player and an even better individual.  In fact, I still have my Granderson shirt.  HOWEVER, I would never wear said shirt to a game the Tigers were playing against the Yankees!  COME ON!  Then, he heads to the bar with his buddy and we catch the back of the other man's shirt.  WILLIS!  That's right, Mr. Dontrelle Willis himself, or Epic Meltdown, as he's known in the sports world.  Now, wearing a past player shirt is fine as long as he was beloved and did something for the ball club.  Willis doesn't fit in that category.  Here are some others not to wear:
Gary Sheffield, Troy Percival, Joel Zumaya, Hideo Nomo, Randall Simon, feel free to add your own.

So to the men in the picture below, COME ON!

Now, on to a new feature, we'll call it the Comerica Experience.  These are things you only get to experience at the park and make the game that much more fun to watch.  Today's Comerica Experience is slapping hands with random strangers around you.  At home, when Miggy hits a game-winning home run or Verlander strikes out Ichiro three times, there's no one to high five except your cat (consequently, Mags is great at slapping hands).  At the stadium, there are more than enough people to slap hands with.  You also don't need to know someone to give a high five.  In fact, if the Tigers are doing really well and you are extra awesome, you may even leave the game with a few extra friends.  Here's our "friend" at the last game.  He was sitting next to a dude who told us he remembered Zubaz pants from when he was "this" little (holds up index finger and thumb).  Friend Tigress almost hit that dude's face, not just his hand.

This Tigress also mistakenly identified this Anderson as Matt.  News flash: It's Sparky.  I wasn't in peak form.  But now I want a Matt Anderson shirt.

So next time you go to the ballpark, make some new friends.

Epic

No other word for the win today.  Epic.  Epic win.

As mentioned in a previous post (you know you read them all, twice), the Olympics have taken a lot of my attention.  Today I tried to be diplomatic about my sports viewing and was switching between volleyball and Tigers baseball.  After watching the dismal display of hitting by Tigerberry with the additional defense infield, I switched back to see that the Indians had hit back to back home runs off Mr. In Grown Hair himself.  I was about ready to devote myself to beach volleyball viewing indefinitely after seeing two outs in the tenth when I commented to the Future Mr. Tigress that the Tigers had lost.  I flipped back to see the final score just as Omar Baby was poking a single over the shortstop's head.  Yelling ensued!  Cabrera's hit produced more yelling...EPIC!

So, with a sweep (finally!) over the tough Indians, I head to D-Town tomorrow for the game.  Tigers versus Yankees, Verlander versus Nova, ESPN Monday Night Football Baseball (oops my bad), and Zubaz pants.  Remember?  From the best giveaways from the year post?  Man, your memory is really going.  You need to increase your vitamin intake, I heard B12 does wonders.

If I wasn't going to the game, I would be conflicted about what to watch, Olympics or Tigers.  Here's my suggestions for all you unlucky people who don't get a brand new pair of fly pants.  Drag up your old TV from your workshop or exercise room and put it next to your flat screen.  That way, you don't miss anything!  I recommend keeping the Tigers on mute if you watch them on ESPN, but Rario will also be on FSN for all you purists.  With Ryan Raburn going on the DL, this weekend doesn't get much better!