The Christmas Season

I've just completed my second full body workout of the day, thank you Mother Nature, and it's only 11:26 AM Eastern Standard Time.  Snow in mid November will do that to you.  That's right, nature is my personal trainer.  You know you live in the Midwest if your arms get mysteriously big while the rest of you stays the same every winter.  With the snow and the shushing and the general merriment, it's enough to put anyone in the holiday spirit.  With that in mind, I'll be highlighting some classic Christmas songs and carols that maybe shouldn't have stood the test of time.  I'm all for holiday cheer, but I draw the line at ridiculous.

Our first song is "I'll Be Home For Christmas"

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents by the tree

Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

Buzz kill alert.  Where's the merriment there?  First off, some requests are reasonable to make of your family at Christmas time.  Mistletoe, presents, maybe even a cookie or two?  Fine, your mother is more than happy to accommodate.  But asking her to provide snow is just plain cruel.  You know she's going to be hitting up Menards for their fake snow and plastering it to your childhood bedroom window in hopes of making your dream come true.  Try not to be so demanding, you mama's boy.

The real kicker is the ending though.  It's such a nice sentiment to want to come home for Christmas and experience the nostalgia of childhood, but then to drop the line of "If only in my dreams" at the end is ridiculous.  This might be the most depressing Christmas song written before 1950.  Now there are loads of depressing Christmas songs to please the Grinches and Scrooges of the world, but this may have set the standard.  What a Debbie Downer.