Funky Christmas

If you are a child of the late 80s and early 90s, then you know there's no super group better than New Kids on the Block.  You weren't cool unless you had books, bed sheets, T-shirts, and buttons with the faces of 5 man-boys named Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jordan, and Jon.  It's not that this song is bad.  This song is down right horrible.  Take a gander:

Ho, ho, ho, oh, little train, my little elf, another great Christmas. 
Ah, man, it's boring, it's boring, same thing every year, 
so let's have a funky Christmas! 

Have a funky funky Christmas, have a funky funky Christmas. 
New Kids On The Block, let's rock, it's Christmas time. 
We're gonna celebrate it with a rhyme. 
Danny D, are you ready? - Ready as I'll ever be 
Steady - you know, Joey Joe is ready 
Jordan and Jon, yeah, come on, we got a funky, funky Christmas going on. 

Have a funky... 
Funky Christmas and a funky new year, I swear we got ourselves a party here 
Girls on the floor knows our posse at the door 
Should I stop - nah cool - here's more of this song, a funky Christmas melody 
'cause Jordan K feels so Christmasy 
Throw your hands in the air pause, kick the ballistics Santa Claus 

Have a funky... 
Sneaking downstairs on Christmas Eve 
I saw a sight that you just wouldn't believe 
St. Nick by the fireplace dusting off his head with a frown on his face 
He said hay - said what - he said you - I said what 
He said you left the fire burning and I burnt my butt 
so now I've learned you've got to turn the fireplace down 
so Santa won't get burned 

Have a funky... 

Have a funky... 
Slipping and sliding through the city streets 
I'll be in town getting down to the Christmas beat 
it's Danny D I'm here with Christmas cheer 
no feeling to end the party of the year 
it's going I'm showing fresh rhymes I'm throwing 
it's snowing outside but we ho-ho-hoing 
Santa's on the way, sleigh bells are ringing, swinging, everybody start singing 

Have a funky.... 

It's Christmas, can you swing this? 
Funky, dope jam top on your Christmas list, do you dig this? 
Boy, there ain't no twist, just something you wish for and you almost missed huh 
Funky Christmas and a Happy New Year, how could you be booing it 
with Donnie D doing it? 

Have a funky.... 

Ho, ho, ho, this is the MC Santa Claus and my elf little Joe 
Yeah, merry Christmas, merry Christmas, we gonna kick the ballistics 
of our Christmas wishes.


He's the thing... you can't try and be gangsta by rapping and then have the worst word you sing be "butt".  It just doesn't match.  5 guys from Boston don't exactly scream "funky" either.  I'm looking at you, Marky Mark.  Whoever gave the Wahlburg boys the idea that they had street cred, you just ended up on the naughty list, my friend.  When I want to hear a Christmas song that makes me feel cool and awesome, I listen to this song because it really puts things in perspective.  

Those NKOTB bed sheets were sweet though.