Headed for Divorce

Today's song is I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus:

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peek
She thought I was tucked
Up in my bedroom fast asleep.

Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!

First of all, this mom is kind of a hussy.  I mean, does she go for older men?  Is she like Adam Sandler's first girlfriend in Big Daddy?  Does Santa have a more appealing five year plan?  Not only is she kissing Santa, but then she tickles him too.  Kissing can be taken any number of ways.  Maybe she's French and it was one of those one cheek, two cheek, quick on the lips deals.  She'd easily be able to explain that to the kid.  But no, then she goes and tickles him.  Not easy to explain that away.  "Don't worry, Timmy.  Mommy was just brushing some crumbies out of Santa's beard."  Not even a kid who still believes in Santa is going to buy that one.

The kid can't help what his mom does though.  We can't choose family, only the sauce on our chicken wings.  However, he didn't need to laugh thinking about his dad catching her in the act.  Do you want your parents to get divorced?  Is that your end game?  Mom and Dad making passive aggressive comments every other weekend.  "Oh sweetie, you look three pounds lighter!  Isn't your father feeding you!"  You think it's all extra presents and double the birthday celebrations until you're at home with a sitter while Daddy is out shopping for a new Mommy.  Do yourself a favor, kid.  Don't tell Daddy about Mommy's little indiscretion.  It's doubtful that Santa is on Mommy's "list".  You'd save your parents loads of money in legal fees and they'd be together for at least one more Christmas.