Today, I'm not highlighting a song. Rather, a singer of songs who really doesn't have any business singing Christmas music. When I listen to Christmas music, I want hot cocoa, fuzzy socks, and snow frosting my window. I don't want hip gyration and overdone vibrato on E-VER-Y SY-LLA-BLE. That's right, I'm talking about the King. Elvis Presley. The worst offender? Blue Christmas.
I'll have a Blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me
And the when those blue snowflakes start fallin'
That's when those blue memories start callin'
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
Usually, the word "I'll" has one syllable. Somehow, Elvis turns it in to ten. The sad ladies moaning in the background don't help his cause. I think he also had a bet with his manager to see how many times he could say "blue" in the last line. Only the first three notes of this song have to play before I turn it off. If I want to party in a jail cell or serenade Michelle Tanner about her Teddy Bear, I'll go with Elvis. Nothing about Elvis screams mistletoe and sleigh rides.
Even though I picked Blue Christmas, Here Comes Santa Claus could have easily been my pick. It's equally as horrible and Elvis somehow makes his voice even lower than usual. It's like he knew he was singing crap and was just trying to milk it for all its worth. Make no mistake, I love me some Elvis...on a rainy April day.
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