Skinny and Fatty spells Cincinnati

First of all, welcome back AJacks.  I missed you.

The boys (you know, Mario, Rod, John Keating, even Ryan Field) are way more entertaining when Verdiggity is on the mound.  They become playful children enjoying America's pastime.  Here's a rundown of some of the ridiculousness:

• John Keating hates mascots...he said it, not me.  I'm with you John.  Ryan Field, on the other hand, gets shoulder rubs from female mascots.  The ladies can't resist the Field.
• Mario sits at home with a thesaurus thinking of adjectives for when he tells people to switch over to the HiDef channel.  Rod remarked that since tomorrow the game is on ESPN and Monday is an off day, Mario will have two days to think of a great adjective for Tuesday.
• Jhonny lives in Cleveland still?  That's unfortunate.  But hey dude, congrats on your upcoming paternity.  He's having twins.  Tigers called up Hernan Perez from single A Lakeland... I guess we are out of players to call up from Toledo?  Couldn't go to AA either?  Don't tell me it's just time to give up.  I'm not ready for that yet.

• Rod claims that Santiago's "sweet shades" helped him with his home run.  Santiago also had "sneaky power" shirts made, but only signed Mario's.  How do I get one of these?

• In general, the items on the "Rod Allen Drinking Game" are more frequent when JV pitches.  I haven't done any scientific research, but I believe my hypothesis is true.
• Rod admitted during the game to coming up with crazy stuff!  Granted it was while accusing a Reds player of being crazier than him on Twitter though.
• Keating is Rod's "Road Dawg", mainly because of his hook up with the food.  Way to hang Mario out to dry!  Is it because John Keating is the name of Robin Williams' character in Dead Poets' Society?  Or just because he's the epitome of cool?
• Right after the "Shout Out" to Mary Agnes in Kalamazoo for her 100th birthday, Fielder hit a homer.  Guess they need to mention Kalamazoo more often!
• Mario makes a quip about the Tigs only hitting solo homers.  Ouch, you know it hurts extra when it's true.
• Is Delmon Young the worst outfielder...ever?  Let's all vote and just agree that it's true.  Had I been keeping score, his little miscue with the "sun" would have been an error.  Just saying
• 100 MPH in the 4th for Verdiggity.  I'm thinking Rario needs to get on board with this "ninja" quote.  He was totally NINJA in the 4th.
• The boys also explored the musicality of the Tigs.  Smokes sounds like Sinatra when he sings (must be the damage the smoke has done to his vocal cords).  Worth and Delmon bring guitars and play on the road.  Bboesch plays some unknown instrument (the didgeridoo?).
• Dougie Fresh threw today, so that's always good.  Come back Dougie, I miss you.
• WHA?!  Fielder started chucking seeds at Bboesch after he started the two out rally.  I'd LOVE to know what started all of that.  Here are some guesses:
• Bboesch only asked Fielder to pass the seeds, but Fielder only knows how to throw when he is excited
• Bboesch made a joke about switching to left because he's tired of looking at Fielder's butt all game
• Bboesch joked that now is the time to start his campaign for the All Star Game and Fielder was just showing his feelings about how ludicrous that is.
• Smokes says that Bboesch "twisted" his ankle a little on his slide home and Fielder might have just been gently telling him to "man up."

 Keating was all smiles and giggles after the game in the Call Sam Studios.  I can see now why he's Rod's Road Dawg.

Is that water? Or something a little stronger?

Player rotation

As mentioned in the previous post, Tigers are hurt.  Forget the metaphors, no licking wounds, no limping around...just hurt.  Here's the transactions for this week:
On Wednesday:
 Tigers place Avila on 15 day DL with a right hamstring strain

 Tigers designate Omir Santos for assignment (told you he knows I75 well)
 Tigers sign free agent RHP David Kopp
Tigers call up catcher Bryan Holaday from the Mud Hens (he's younger than Santos, is that what we are going for?)

Tigers recalled RHP Jose Ortega from Mud Hens

On Friday:
 Tigers get Santos back to Mud Hens

I don't know about you, but my head is spinning!  One thing is for sure, Dombrowski and Smokes are feeling the pressure to get some Ws and are mixing it up.  I like it.  BBoesch was back hitting in the number 2 spot, which makes sense!  Better than some nobody up from Toledo.  Then, Matt E. got to show his versatility by playing both 2nd base and right field.  I'm liking inter-league play and want to see Smokes mix some things up for a win.  That's right, we can get some wins.  You know what the Monty Python boys always say.  No, not "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."  They say (or sing actually), "Always look on the bright side of life."

Verdiggity gets to pitch today and the club is hyping up his quest for his first major league hit.  How about a win JV?  Let's shoot for that instead.

Hello new friend

The Tigers are licking their wounds.  Fister, Martinez, Alburquerque, Dirks, AJacks, Avila always seems to be on the brink.  It's probably easier to list who is healthy than on the DL.  So with every new injury (or in the case of Suckburn, demotion) comes a new face to Detroit.  The boys are told to pack their bags and take the journey up I75 to D-town, leaving behind their comfy beds in Toledo to possibly live out of a suitcase for months at a time.  Sometimes they come and go so quickly (where did you go Eldred?) or sometimes they linger (yes, Danny Worth is still on the team).  Poor Omir Santos has been up and down I75 so many times that he has rated the rest stops along the way and times his drives to only use the best bathroom facilities.

Let's take a look at the new face in the club house today:  Matthew E. Young...or Matt-E

Not a looker ladies (although I just saw a shot of SchEYEzer with some facial hair growing in and this guy is looking better already).
He's played 20 games in the majors (all with Atlanta) and 899 in the minors.  Minor career average of .285 and OBP of .390, which is why Rod claims he was batting 2nd tonight.  Really?  We can't give the new kid a break and find someone who might actually get a hit to be in the 2nd spot?

He's 29, pushing 30, which is Old (with a capital O) for the minors.  From what I can see, he's a warm body, who is a decent outfielder (better than the other Young on the team), and will probably be sent directly to jail, do not pass Go, once Dirty Dirks gets healthy.  Especially with Tigerberry (or Q for you RAllen fans)  looking for an outfield spot, I just don't see this guy sticking.  But, I'll say this with all my Mud Hen friends, prove me wrong kid (or in this case, dad).

On a side note, this is the quote I found in a Detroit paper about Suckburn:
According to the Toledo Blade, he was cheered loudly upon his introduction for his first at-bat, and then he grounded into a double play. He finished 0-for-3 with a strikeout, walk and a run.

That will teach you Mud Hen fans.  Don't cheer him!  He does his best work when people despise him.

Tigerberry

When Austin Jackson comes back, Quintin Berry's spot in the line up (I like to think of him as the Tigerberry...kind of like Tigerlily, but a fruit instead of a flower) is put into jeopardy.  Here are some solutions on how to keep him in Detroit:

Scenario 1: Jackson goes back to center, Dirks in right when he's healthy, Berry in left, trade Delmon, and make BBoesch the 4th outfielder.  This is also hoping that VMart can come back sometime in July or August and be the regular DH

Come back Victor, come back

Scenario 2: Get rid of Santiago and try Tigerberry at 2nd.  How hard can it be?  Everyone and their mom has tried to play 2nd this year and no one has been even remotely impressive.  Tigerberry would at least be a reliable bat and make the same number of errors as Suckburn and Santiago.  Although to be honest, I'm not too mad about giving Worth a chance there.  Everyone else has had a chance there, let him too.

Is he Worth-y?  (giggle)

Scenario 3: Trade BBoesch AND Delmon, get an actual 2nd baseman, and put Berry in left or right.  This is also assuming that Dirks can stay healthy enough to play outfield everyday.

With these in mind, here's a dream batting order:
1. Tigerberry (he's faster and has proven he can get on without excessive power)
2. AJacks
3. Cabby
4. Prince
5. VMart (again, this is best case for him since he didn't think he'd be back at all this year)
6. Dirks
7. BBoesch, Worth, or actual 2nd baseman depending on above
8. Avila
9. Jhonny (this would be great leading into the top of the line up, especially if Chinstrap starts hitting like he did last year)

The other day Dombrowski was not on the road with the club.  I'm thinking he had to be scouting some 2nd base options.  I say we start the "Tigerberry for 2nd" campaign.

Sad Kitty

Yesterday at Polish American Night was one of the most fun times I've ever had at a Tigers game.  Sitting in left field (almost center) under the score board gives a whole new perspective to watching the game, and I felt like I saw the ball better coming off the bat.  I would definitely sit back there again.  Of course, former Tiger, Curtis Granderson, had to hit a grand slam and ruin a great PAN.  Here's what Father Tiger was sporting at the game:

So tomorrow is the day that Magglio Ordonez officially announces his retirement.  His 2006 home run is forever imprinted on my mind.  It's one of those questions Detroit fans ask each other...where were you when he hit that homer?  And people are able to tell you.  I was at my friend's house, wearing Tiger ears, having just come home from the bar.  I mean, look how excited Pudge is below!

Yesterday at the Detroit Tiger team store, there were Ordonez shirts on clearance. I went to purchase one so I can pay tribute to the man.  This is the part of story from yesterday where I also schooled some people about things that have been happening with the Tigers.  I pointed a man and his wife over to the clearance rack because they were going to the game on Sunday, yet had NO IDEA that a tribute was going to happen.  They also didn't know who was pitching, that Suckburn went down to AAA, and who the heck Berry and Santos were.  COME ON!  I told the lady working at the door, "Those people didn't know anything!"  She just laughed at me.

Because of his greatness, I named my cat Magglio the summer following the 2006 home run.  This past year, when Mags wasn't going to return to the Tigers, I asked if he wanted a new name.  Maybe Miguel, or Prince, or Jackson?  No he said. I like my name.  I think he made a good choice.  Mags is a weird kitty.  He recently found an IPod cover and started throwing it around and chewing it up.  So Mags wanted to show a couple of his best moments in honor of his namesake's retirement.

Look how sad that kitty looks in the last picture!  His eyes say, I'll miss you Ordonez, but thanks for the memories.  I agree kitty.

Polish American Night

I think Rod Allen said it best last night when he said something to the effect of, come on fellas!  This season isn't young anymore!

You ain't just whistling Dixie, Rod.  As frustrating as it is to watch the Tigers now, I'll say it again.  I watched the Tigers in 2003.  I'll watch the Tigers if they don't win another game this season.  Will I be mad?  Yes.  Will I throw things?  Yes.  Will I give up on the Tigers?  Never.

On that note, tomorrow is one of my favorite days at Comerica Park.  It's Polish America night (also note how America is spelled.  I'm a better speller than the people on Mitt Romney's campaign)!  Let's go back two years and tell the story of how the Tigress ended up at Polish America Night.

The year was 2010.  The holiday was Memorial Day weekend.  Sister Tigress was about to tie the knot in two short days.  My thought, what's the best way to start the wedding celebration weekend?  Why a trip to Comerica Park!  We bought the group deal which included a t shirt, soda, hot dog, chips, and ticket for about 35 dollars!  What a great deal!  Not only that, the giveaway that day was a 1935 throwback hat!  I also scored some sweet bead necklaces.  Check out the ensemble:

It was a beautiful day, nice warm and sunny.  The best part about Polish America Night is the on field dancing by all the small children.  They are adorable and all do a slight variation on the same 3 dances.  It's wonderful.  There are also Polka bands and fireworks set to Polka music.  Last year, Sister Tigress and Grandpa Tiger did a little Polka around the concourse.  Only on Polish America Night!

Tomorrow is supposed to be cold and rainy like last year's PAN.  Good thing a true Tiger fan is equipped for both cold and warm weather, no matter if it's April or October.  Seems like a great day for the babushka.  I'll be the youngest lady at the park with one on, but I won't be the only one.

Marriage material

As I'm writing, the Tigers are playing.  I usually don't like to write mid-game, I like to instead...you know, watch the Tigers.  But, I'll be optimistic today and say the Tigs got a W for Verdiggity (and if they don't I bet it was Lamont's fault).

Sister Tigress and I were twittering during the game (or maybe it was texting, technology makey my head hurt), and I commented that Saltalamacchia is my favorite name in the majors.  In fact, I would marry him to get that name!

My name barely fits on my shirt

That brought up the question, "Realistically, if you could marry one of the Tigers, who would you pick?"  Now really, I think she meant "theoretically", because realistically, no Tiger would marry me.  I like the question though...so lets consider:

All of the Tigers' relievers are out.  I think relievers in general are just not my style.  They are only good for an inning at most, so you can't expect much house work out of them.  Forget the yard work too.  Also, have you seen a relief pitcher?  It's not pretty.

That's just how my face looks

Next it's on to the starting pitchers.  Ricky P is out, I have a feeling he has low self confidence and I'd need to keep patting him on the back and telling him what a good boy he is.  Smyly's too young and inexperienced.  SchEYEzer is too inconsistent (but man, I bet the good days would be good with him.  He'd probably take you to a carnival, movie, to get ice cream, and then buy you a pony.  But then the next day he'd burn all your clothes).  That leaves Dougie Fresh and Verdiggity.  Both good choices.  Verdiggity has proven he's hilarious, good looking, rich, talented, and a jokester.  Dougie Fresh keeps things moving quickly, which is good because I'm impatient.  Plus he's tall, always a good sign for children with possible athletic aspirations.

And I can teach you how to Dougie

Obviously with catchers there's not a lot to choose from.  G-Money is out.  He's one of those guys who seems like he "thinks" he's funny.  You know, he has the same 5 jokes that I'd have to hear over and over.  Avila's beard is uncontrollable and I can't imagine the beard burn my face would have to endure.  They are both out.

Ouch

Infielders are next.  Suckburn and Santiago are out.  2nd base is just not happening this year for the Tigers or for a Tigress husband.  Soft J is in still.  I love saying his name.  Jhonny (soft J).  Facial hair needs to be changed, but that's easy enough.  Cabrera is out.  I need someone to be a reliable DD when needed.  Fielder is surprisingly in.  He has Tiger DNA in his blood, he's Mr. Congeniality at first base, and he's a power hitter...o ya, and he has tons of money.  

No need to worry about the food bill.  He's got it covered.

Outfielders are always attractive.  They are quick, can throw, and are usually great hitters.  Jackson is in for the previously listed reasons.  Bboesch is in too, but I'd make sure he spent lots of time in the batting cage.  Also he'd have to keep his sunglasses on permanently.  Delmon is out (see Cabrera's reason above and I also bruise easily).  Dirks is a maybe, like maybe if he had cooler music to come to bat to, then I'd consider him.

Don't take those off!

Utility guys?  They are out.  No Donnie or Danny for me.  I always liked Joey from New Kids on the Block.

Joey, Jon, Danny, Donnie, Jordan= NKOTB

So, that leaves me with the choice of Verdiggity, Dougie Fresh, Jhonny, Prince, Jackson, or Bboesch.  Well, the answer is easy my friend.  No one can beat Verdiggity.  He's the total package.  As I'm watching him now, he's getting fired up too, which means he has passion too.  Again, the money and endorsement deals don't hurt either.  I'd have free Taco Bell for life and the new MLB video game every year.  I'm down with swag.

Thanks Tigress. You are marriage material too.

It's now 4-0 Boston.  COME ON!!!