Zubazpalooza Take 3

There's been a lot of press lately about how the Tigers have adopted the Zubaz pants, sweatshirts, and accessories as their official, unofficial uniforms.  They were on ESPN, Yahoo, Facebook, and just about every local Michigan news station wearing their Zubaz while traveling to Cleveland.  The Tigers players have Zubaz fever.  The thing is, this Tigress and her band of merry Tigri have been infected with Zubaz fever for three years now.  Faithful readers already know this, but if you are new to the blog, revisit some earlier posts.  Zubaz also double as playoff pants and are guaranteed to get you interviewed by multiple television outlets.

We make this look good

As for Zubazpalooza twenty-one-four, let's meet our cast of characters.  There's the Tigress (that's me *points to self), Sister Tigress, Crazy Tigress, and New-to-Zubaz Tigress.  This year, the Tigers offered a Zubaz shirt, which is great for repeaters like us who have multiple pairs of pants and are looking to get even more tricked out in Zubaz gear.

Usually, the party has started at HockeyTown, but this year the party was at the Jungle in right field.  This was much more convenient to go right to our seats after the yearly raffle where we are sure to win.  We did start at HockeyTown anyway and did our short hike back to Comerica.  Now, if one person is wearing Zubaz, you get attention.  When four good-looking ladies are sporting them, you get stares and even compliments.  I'm a firm believer in acknowledging compliments, but Sister Tigress likes to acknowledge stares as well.  That means that she yelled at multiple people on our way to the stadium without being engaged in conversation.  Yup, she's "that girl".

Here's a trivia question:  You know you have Zubaz fever when:
A) Everyone in your party is already wearing Zubaz pants before the event where they give them away
B) You have additional accessories from previous years
C) The people running the event greet you like old friends and continuously shower you with swag
D) All of the above

I think you know the answer.  I had my vintage Zubaz Tiger hat from approximately 1988 (which received a compliment from a group of men who were also wearing Zubaz upon entering the stadium.  They had good taste).  I also had my Zubaz sunglasses from last year and headbands.  New Tigress had never been to an event (she was a pinch hitter for someone who double booked herself.  Who double books on Zubaz?!  Priorities, people), so I gave her a pair of my pants.  That freed everyone up to receive a Zubaz t shirt.

Upon entering the Jungle (first of course), we were greeted like long lost relatives...you know, the crazy relatives you see once a year.  While our friends were setting up shop, they started to cover our table in swag.  Not everyone gets this kind of service, but when you are "regulars" (that's a direct quote), you get the VIP treatment.  We received can koozies, bottle koozies (a true Zubazpalooza fan needs both for fancy and relaxed occasions), tattoos, headbands, retro sunglasses (see below), and Zubaz "sleeves".  I had to ask what you do with the sleeve.

Our friends in events said they can go on your head, your arm, or even your leg as leg warmers.  That's how the DTE Energy Squad was wearing them.  You could also rob a bank with them.

Once we got our raffle tickets, we wandered a little to make some friends.  People were definitely digging our shirts since they were a new item and not many people opted to get them.  I will say this, if you didn't have Zubaz pants already, there's no reason you should get a shirt.  That's like going to an English pub and ordering the Shepard's pie.  Any ding bat knows you order fish and chips.  It's just common sense.  As a strategy this year, we pooled our raffle tickets to increase our winning odds with the idea of splitting up the booty.  We won Zubaz flip flops and the coveted Zubaz sweatshirt.  I ended up with the sandals and Sister Tigress ended up with the sweatshirt, that lucky duck.  The only problem is that the sandals are a size 11-12 which means they are about a million sizes too big.  Tip for next year, more than half of the Zubaz patrons are female.  Get with the times, people.  The chances that Frankenstein is going to win the sandals are slim to none.  New Tigress's husband also said a big "no thank you" to the sweatshirt when offered.  He must not know fashion.  All my favorite players are sporting them.

Any good Tigress fan knows there's always one drunk person around you at a game who is being annoying and if you don't have one then it might just be you.  The past two Zubazpaloozas that was me.  This year, it was Crazy Tigress (yup, Yup, YUP!).  She even shared my poncho by sticking her head in the sleeve during a short spring shower.  For some reason, Zubaz has gotten earlier and earlier in the year.  Our first year, it was in August.  Last year it was mid-June.  This year it was the beginning of May!  I'm going to need Zubaz hat and mittens if it gets any earlier next year.

All in all it was a great day.  The Tigers couldn't pull of a win, but the Zubaz is bringing them good luck on this road trip so I can't complain.  When you see me in October at Comerica, remember to comment on my pants.

You know you want to be a part of our family

Having Fun

Just because I don't write doesn't mean I don't love you or Tiger baseball.  I've been watching as much as possible when caring for a nocturnal dragon (although she's becoming less nocturnal as the weeks turn to summer and more of a mini Tigress everyday).  I even got to attend the famous Zubaz pants day.  I promise I'll write about it soon since it's become a yearly tradition.

We are deep into May and the Tigers are playing some excellent baseball.  Don't adjust your computer screen, I actually wrote that.  The bats are active, the bullpen is decent, and the starting pitching is lights out as usual.  I say that cautiously because Smyly and Porcello are still finding their groove.  For the record, I'm not a Porcello hater by any stretch of the imagination.  I just think he gets too much credit sometimes, especially from the announcing crew this year (you know who you are, Mario).  Somehow, the bullpen is even contributing and throwing some quality innings.  Here's some things I like about the team this year:

Joe Nathan- We have an actual, bonafide closer this year.  That's right, usually in about July, we are scrambling through our beat down pen looking for someone to step up.  Barring any injury, we have someone reliable and seasoned handling the ninth inning.  It's pretty exciting to be enjoying something that other teams take for granted.

Ian Kinsler- Fielder/Kinsler trade...can we say "Winning"?  Dom looks like a genius mastermind as usual with Prince still struggling and Kinsler looking like Bennie the Jet straight off the sandlot.  He's got high socks, range, speed, a quick bat, and even goes yard once in a while.  I've also seen his sick salsa moves on Twitter.  He's the best acquisition in an off season full of new, solid players.

Scherzer/Verlander- The Dealing Duo (registered trademark) is doing what they always do, which is pitch lights out baseball.  Verlander is still in his spring rut where he has a massive breakdown in about the sixth inning, but if he keeps at it, he can persevere.  Maxxy Pooh is racking up extra dollars and zeros that are sure to be included in his contract with whatever team he signs with (I have little hope he'll sign with the Tigers so let's enjoy him while we can).

Fun- That's right, the Tigers are having fun.  Whether it's some silly dance where their hands shake by their heads, Zubaz pants pulled up to the upper thigh (thanks Anibal), or the numerous handshakes, the Tigers are having fun with each other and it's paying off on the scoreboard.  This is a very different team from the one last year that hung their heads after losing to Boston in the playoffs.  I credit new blood and the leadership of the always smiling Torii Hunter.  Joba Chamberlain might look like a lumberjack, but he acts like a clown.

Rad Brad- It doesn't matter who is managing, haters are going to hate.  People are going to question lineup choices and calls on the field.  Smokes can tell you all about it.  My advice is to grow thick skin and buy some earplugs.  I've liked the aggressive base running and gutsy small ball plays that the Tigers have been flashing this season.  Brad's quiet presence in the dugout makes him seem more like a cool older brother rather than a grouchy grandpa looking for his next nicotine fix (I love you Smokes, but you know this is true).  If you are on your best behavior, cool brother Brad might even teach you how to surf.  Of course, I'd look like a genius manager too if I had the raw talent and experience that the Tigers clubhouse has, but Brad is holding his own and then some.

I'd like to think the Tigers aren't putting too much pressure on themselves and are just taking it one day at a time.  That's the way they seem to be playing.  This road trip has been a key part to the early season.  With a sweep of the first place Orioles, a three game set with the team who took them down last year, and a series with a division foe in Cleveland, Detroit needs to send a message.  We are bringing back the roar in 20-1-4 (now trending on Twitter).  With a 25-12 record and a 6.5 game lead in the Central, you'd be having fun too.

Part time baseball

This winter I was a part time employee.  Not by choice, but due to the weather phenomena known as Polar Vortex and Artic Blast.  There were 12 days that work was cancelled.  While I'll have to make up some of these days, it makes for a leisurely work schedule.  The Tigers pitchers are in a similar situation with their third game postponed with only a month of the season done.  Some of these players have forgotten how to throw a curve, scuff up the ball, or hide their pine tar effectively.  April is also a traditionally lightly scheduled month for the Tigers given the unpredictable Michigan weather (see above).  The Tigers have had nine days off, six scheduled, in 32 days.

Like many other Americans, having one part time just just won't pay the bills.  More than one job is necessary.  Here are some suggestions for how the pitchers can make an extra buck.

SchEYEzer- Max is good with numbers and since April is a slow month for baseball, the most obvious choice is accounting.  April is their busy time and they could always use another head around the office to help crunch numbers and fill out tax forms.  Plus, Tax Man is a great nickname.

Ricky P- Not just another pretty face, Ricky can put his good looks to work.  He's the guy dressed in the Uncle Sam costume outside of Max's tax company twirling a sign.  His arm strength from years of pitching is sure to be an asset to sign twirling.

Verlander- JV's greatest asset is his personality and past achievements.  The way to make easy cheddar is to do public appearances to promote all his favorite merchandise and goods.  Taco Bell, video games, cereal, even various casinos and fast food establishments.  If he really wants to please the crowd, he'll bring his lady friend with him.

Sanchez- Since Sanchez has been good for about half of each game he's pitched, he needs a job where a partner is encouraged.  He'd make a really good half of a tag team wrestling team.  Call WWE and see if Shawn Michaels is still wrestling.  The Heartbreak Kid and the Fastball Kid would be an unstoppable duo.  He'd even settle for Billy Gunn to become the New, New Age Outlaws.

Smyly- Since Smyly has yet to really become a "starting pitcher" due to weather, injuries, and other catastrophes, he's best farming himself out as a reliever to another MLB team.  I know it's his dream to be a Major League starting pitcher, but the reality is that he's a very good and effective reliever.  Why mess with something that works?  There's an old phrase, "Do what makes you happy" but what's most important is "Do what makes you money."  Pitching against one or two guys and then taking a seat the rest of the game sounds sweet to me.

Hopefully April showers (and snow and wind) will bring May doubleheaders.  I have a feeling there's a reason these guys play baseball to earn their living.  They probably wouldn't be very good at their other part time jobs.

Winter baseball

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

All over the state

Winter hooded players

Old space heaters

A little dusting shouldn't stop the game!

Seriously, Detroit got what is considered a normal spring snowfall on Tuesday and the game was cancelled.  Here's a sample of the tweets that show how baseball players have become soft over the years.

Ian Krol ‏@IanKrolTKB  22h

Snowball fight

With an inch of snow?! Dream on kid.

Drew Smyly ‏@SmylyD  21h

There is snow on the ground... And we are suppose to play a baseball game tonight

You can tell he's from Arkansas.

Rod Allen ‏@RodAllen12  Apr 15

Rookie mistake last night! Anybody have one of those snow scrapers? I don't own one. Lol #nexttimegarage pic.twitter.com/5r9kcS4eGE

Children born in Michigan are issued a snow scraper upon release from the hospital.  I'm sure they are included in the sale of every car.  How else did three end up in my trunk?  Asking everyone in the Twitter universe if they own a snow scraper is just asking for ridicule.

Joba Chamberlain ‏@Joba_44  Apr 15

Yep, it snowed pic.twitter.com/WzXKXd3Dm7

Seriously, you can still see pavement!  

Look, I get that many of these guys aren't from Michigan or anywhere north of the Mason Dixon, but you live in Michigan for about seven months out of the year.  Snow is possible in ten of the twelve months when you live in Michigan.  A snow scraper, ear muffs, hand warmers...these are essentials in the mitten state.  Strap on your Polanco hoods and lace up your cleat boots.  Spring means baseball!  I miss baseball.

Nocturnal dragon

It occured to me that Tuesday's game was the first opportunity for a true "night" game.  Unfortunately, the night was on the Pacific coast meaning game time is 10...PM.  Faithful readers will remember that 10 PM is way past the Tigress's bedtime.  However, now that I'm raising a snuggly, nocturnal dragon, I'm finding myself awake at odd hours of the night.  Now, the best ideas don't necessarily come at 1 AM, but some interesting ones do.  Here's what came to mind last night:

Mario made a comment about Gene Lamont being perched on the shoulder of Rad Brad, which got me to thinking...gee, that's what he used to do to Smokes.  An image immediately appeared in my head.

Polly want a cracker?

Allow me to connect the dots.  Jafar represents the current Tigers manager and that annoying bird, Iago, to the right is Lamont.  The adviser to the royal vizier.  Always squawking in his ear but not always necessarily making sense.  What other sidekicks from recent cinema also apply in this scenario?  Funny you should ask.

Surprisingly, our next example bares a striking resemblance to the man himself.  This one is a tad more bumbling, but loyal to a fault.  Mr. Smee and Lamont are brothers from a different mother.

Tip to Smee, Lamont orders his shirts in extra long

A true sidekick though is willing to switch sides at the drop of the hat in pursuit of fame and fortune.  Case in point, David Spade's character in Coneheads.  He always intercepts messages to relay to his boss in hopes of looking better and seeming important.  Seems spot on to me!

Let me tell him.  He's had a rough day.

Lamont will have to blaze his own trail and be the best of all these characters in his quest for Tiger supremacy.  Maybe he'll work his way up to the front office upon retirement.  Dombrowski's shoulder has been looking fairly cold recently given all the shade he threw at Scherzer.

I still have my BFF necklace

On an unrelated note, the new format for McDonald's player of the game has taken a new interesting and competitive nature.  Rod, Mario, and a Fox Sports reporter predict who will be the player of the game.  So far, it's led Rod and Mario to make subtle jabs at each other during the game and gloat when their player is doing well.  I like where this is going.

Rod and Mario have been singing the praises of Evan Reed early on in this season.  As I was surfing the web (no surfboard necessary), I found an article about Evan Reed being accused of sexual assault the day before opening day at MotorCity Casino.  While he hasn't been charged yet, somehow this always happens when players are just breaking out.  I'm going to reserve judgment until they investigate further, but a word to the wise to other up and coming Tiger stars, keep your nose clean and your head in the game.  It's only April, we need all hands on deck.  That's no way to get picked for player of the game or impress the sidekick.  Remember, he makes the phone calls out to the bullpen many times.

What?  This isn't Little Caesars?

Close calls

Rad Brad successfully won a challenge in the second game of the season.  As if that wasn't enough, he decided to try it again.  Oh ya, he won that one too.  Two successful challenges in only the second game of the season.  I do have one gripe about Brad's challenging technique, he's way too calm!  He must not have studied Smokes' style during the winter.  Brad quietly strolled out to the umpire, appeared to speak at a conversational level, and then walked away with a smile as the umpire went to go check the replay.  Is this Brad's style, or are the crazy manager rants of old obsolete?

With replay, there's no reason to go ape-crazy on an umpire because there's an umpire crew in New York looking at twelve (over compensating much?) camera views to determine the correct call.  Hard to argue with that process.  Once a call is reviewed, arguing is just like banging your head against the wall.  It causes a commotion but that wall isn't moving.  I'm going to be honest, if instant replay makes managers more reasonable, then I say we get rid of it.  No reason that managers have to be rational and treat umpires with respect.  I mean, the best part of watching March Madness is waiting for a coach to go crazy and get a technical.  Crazy equals entertaining, which leads to high ratings.

Tigers have one more game against the new and improved Royals (seriously, this team made a playoff run last year).  A sweep would be great, so keep your Swiffers close my friends.

Hey everyone, come see how reasonable I'm acting

Terrifying

This.  Is.  Terrifying.  I know Scherzer has a unique look to him, but come on!  If the governor was really doing his job, if he's really one tough nerd, then he would outlaw life size bobbleheads.  Nothing good can come of them.  In fact, to help bail Detroit out of bankruptcy, they should put donation buckets in front of the bobbleheads.  Once enough money is collected, they are taken away.

More examples of crimes against bobbleheads: