Know your role

Just like a mismanaged corporation, a baseball team has different levels of organization and management.  We all know the general manager rules supreme with all the front office lackeys and even over the manager himself in most cases (can't account for the maverick manager who just does what he wants).  But the real hierarchy begins on the field.  Every position and player has a role to play on the field.  Let's start with the two most obvious roles:

Shortstop: Captain of the Infield.  It's the shortstop's job to position his infielders and even call a break in the action if necessary to calm down his pitcher.  As a rule, if the shortstop calls for a fly ball, everyone else should back off.  Since the position demands athleticism, these players are often attractive and considered the playboys of the team (ie, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Nomar Garciaparra).  Oddly enough, many shortstops end up transitioning to other positions (think Cal Ripkin) presumably because of the demanding physical and mental nature of the position.

Center Field: Captain of the Outfield: Again, he has the authority to call off other players for fly balls and requires more speed than a typical outfielder since he covers more ground (ie, Willie Mays, Ken Griffey Jr., Mike Trout).  Let's just say that you never would have started Magglio in center.  In a strange twist of fate, Donnie Kelly captains the outfield tonight and Ramon Santiago captains the infield.  Smokes can have an bizarre since of humor.

Catcher: Game master.  A real catcher calls the game with little assistance from a manager or coach.  He has the perfect view of the field and can anticipate what pitch will work in what situation (ie, Pudge (both of them), Yogi Berra).  Avila has also taken on the role of team masochist.  Rario made a comment that at least once a night he gets hit in the face with a ball and his mask comes off.  That's a good night.  At least his face has a mask on it.  He's been hit everywhere on his body, some needing more recouping time than others (winky face).

First baseman: Welcoming committee.  From here on, things are a little less obvious.  Good thing I'm so wise (knowledge is power, kids).  Mr. Congeniality lives at first base.  They are usually slightly larger, with a powerful swing, and an infectious laugh.  If Santa played baseball, he'd play first base (ie, Cecil Fielder, Prince Fielder, Albert Pujols).  He is always chatting up the ump, base runners, coaches, fans, anyone within a ten foot radius.  A good first baseman will lull you into a false sense of security and then pick you off when your head is turned.

Second baseman: Shortest guy on the team.  If you are 5 foot 7 inches (but lie and say you are really 5'11'') and want to be a ball player, you better practice turning double plays and flipping balls to the shortstop.  It's true kids, even short kids can make the majors (ie, Craig Biggio 5'10'', Joe Morgan 5'10'', and one of my favs, Bill Mazeroski 5'11'').  Infante is listed at 5'11'', but hey, Dougie Fresh has to have somewhere to rest his cup.

Third baseman: Stuntman.  These guys are always diving around the infield, even with considerably less room to cover than their next door neighbors, the shortstop.  Seems like they think the third base line is like the DMZ in Korea (Google it people) and will protect it at all costs (ie, Chipper Jones, George Brett, Brooks Robinson).  Miggy does an average job over at third, but no one compared to In-Gee.  Say what you will about him, but he's was quite the defensive player.  The throw from third to first also demands quite the arm strength.  I've seen more than one throw from third wobble in the air, only to somehow land in the glove of the first baseman.

Left fielder: Master of geometry.  A good line drive down the third base line will hit approximately 2-3 walls and rattle around in the corner for up to 24.5 seconds.  The responsibility of the left fielder is to figure out the angle at which the ball will hit the wall and anticipate the trajectory (ie, Stan the Man (Math Man that is), Shoeless Joe (shoes threw off his ability to read the bounce), and Ted Williams).  That's why Dirty Dirks always has a protractor in his back pocket.

Right fielder: Beach ball control.  Someone has to do it.  Often, right field sees less action than left, depending on who is pitching that day.  During any game, debris and inflatable summer toys are bound to get on the field.  As the armpit of the outfield, it's the right fielder's job to play clean up and keeping the field up to the center fielder's standards.  Sorry to say, some of your favs patrolled this position (Kaline, Gwynn, Ruth).  I don't think the right fielder's mind though.  I heard they get to keep their booty.  They also make up for it with impressive power hitting.

Pitcher: Winner or Loser.  No other position gets a number next to his name based on if the TEAM won or lost.  Heavy, my friends.  Baseball is an unfair game where a pitcher can get no run support (Verlander) or tons of run support (SchEYEzer) and yet the result of the game is clearly their responsibility (sorry Charlie).  While we are talking about pitchers, the quality of a good pitcher is to keep the game moving swiftly.  Dougie does this so well and so did another Tiger pitcher of yore.  Steve Sparks, who now announces for the Astros.  Red rover, red rover, send Sparks right over.  We'll trade you for C-Mo, Shannon Hogan, and Justin White.  It's a deal, I swear!