A day in the life

Even though you don't say it, I know what you are thinking.  "I wish I could be the Tigress."  It's good to have dreams, even if I'm living it and my life is your dream.  Saturdays in the fall are the best times to be the Tigress.  To give you something to put on your vision board, I'll give you a glimpse into the life of the Tigress on a mild fall Saturday.

8 AM-I sleep in slightly as the cool breeze blows in from the open window.  Can you smell the apple cider?  Me neither.  I think it's the trash the neighbors left out last night.  Put on work out clothes and do a barre workout from the DVD.  The idea is to use small movements to isolate muscles and sculpt like a dancer's body.  Mainly it's a chance to prove to your living room television how much more fit the person inside the television is compared to you.

9 AM- Done with the shower and making coffee.  Go a little crazy and grind up those pumpkin spice coffee beans.  I know there's been a big debate lately (even Mike and Mike were in on the action), but I think pumpkin anything is delicious.  It tastes like fall.  Have a bowl of Lucky Charms and catch up on a TV show you DVRed this week.

10 AM- Time to turn on the Super Nintendo and beat a few levels on Super Mario Brothers.  Today I finished all the star worlds and got all the way to castle 7.  I have confidence I can beat it and then head to Bowser's Castle.  It's amazing what muscle memory can do when associated with video games.

11 AM- Time for second breakfast of everything bagel and to watch College GameDay to decide my viewing schedule for the afternoon and evening.  Props to downtown Fargo today.  GameDay looked way more impressive today than any day they travel to Tuscaloosa.

12 PM- The games that are selected for the first match up are Western Michigan University at Iowa and Marshall at Virginia Tech.  WMU looks like a high school football team run by the principal's son.  How are we supposed to row the boat if there's a huge hole in it?

1 PM- Lunch time.  Penn Station subs and a bag full of french fries.  Is it just me, or does malt vinegar smell like foot fungus?  Or the bottom of a sewer?  Either way, Husband Tiger is not allowed to sit next to me when he eats it.

2 PM- Nap time my friends.  It's been a rough day already and there's so much more to do!  Better take a mental and physical break.  Saturdays are marathons, not sprints.

3 PM- I cracked my eyes slightly but I wasn't coherent until a half hour later.  Surprise!  Husband Tiger has brought home ice cream.  Maybe to make up for the malt vinegar earlier?  Probably.

4 PM- The Marshall/VA Tech game is finally over with Va Tech winning after some shady ref calls on pass interference.  I don't know what kind of weather they were playing in, but at one point the video feed went out.  That's pretty intense for a week four match up.  For the next match up, we've selected Michigan State at Notre Dame and Purdue at Wisconsin.  I challenge MSU and ND to shock their critics and score some points this game.

5 PM- MSU's colors are listed as green and white, but they've always used a hunter green.  This color that is on their jerseys today looks like the color of goose poop or that really gross dark gray mud that pulls you in like quick sand.  It's a strange color choice.

6 PM- These pass interference calls against MSU are banana sandwich.  I'm not even rooting for a certain team in this game and I'm a little appalled.  Let the kids play!  MSU's passing game is the only way they will win this game.  Do you think Notre Dame fixed their cups at the stadium?  The first game of the season they said "Figthing Irish."  I would hate to be a figthing.  Call me a fig leaf or a fig tree, but never call me a thing!

7 PM- Notre Dame pulls out the win in the most underwhelming game of the day.  Here's a little math theorem for you.  Michigan beat Notre Dame (A>B).  Notre Dame beat MSU (B>C).  Therefore, Michigan will beat MSU (A>C).  Let that sink in and then we'll test the theory on November 2nd (after the Tigers have won the World Series of course).  Games currently on are Tigers (yes, we waited all day for this game!) and Arizona State at Stanford.  Let's see if Ricky P lights it up again in his bid to start during the playoffs.

8 PM- Stanford has no official mascot.  They are called the Stanford Cardinal referring to the color of their jerseys.  However, there is always this crazy tree hanging around who resembles Miley Cyrus.  So their mascot is a tree...a crazy looking tree.  That takes balls.  That TV has switched to Michigan at Connecticut.  Michigan has some work to do after the embarrassment they showed last week versus Akron.
Here's a tip for the 8:00 hour: stop letting Miggy try to stretch his hits into doubles.  Mini Miggy got to throw out Miggy and I bet he was pumped about that.

9 PM- Michigan is barely on the scoreboard at 7-0 and the Tigers have given up two runs to the Sox.  Props to Ricky P.  9 strikeouts and only a few hits is impressive.  It all fell apart when Avi was able to steal 2nd.  Princey Pie tried to make it rough on him by tagging him slightly harder than normal when checking him back to first.  When does Iggy get to play again?  Santiago and Prince are just not making the connection.  Hopefully there's better news in the next hour.

10 PM- It's 10 PM on the dot and the Tigers are mounting an incredible ninth inning comeback.  What pitcher would want to face Torii, Cabby, Princey, and VMart in the ninth inning, no matter what the lead.  Dirty Dirks lives up to his nickname and Omar, Avila, and Hunter are the iron men for standing in there and getting walks.  Michigan might be putting on a dismal show on the east coast, but the Tigers are trying to thank their 3 million fans with a late game surge.
10:08 PM- Tie game!  Sister Tigress and Brother-in-law Tiger are at the game and I know they are going nuts.  The Tigers have been known for their late inning comebacks this year (Avila, Hunter, Cabby, and Peralta have all chipped in on the craziness), but today it seems that everyone wants a little action.

11 PM- The Wolverines have finally tied it up and the Tigers continue to play.  Who knew it'd be such an action packed day of sports?  The Tigers bullpen has done surprisingly well including performances from Benoit and Alburquerque.  I know!  I never thought Al's name would appear in the same sentence as the phrase "surprisingly well."
11:10 PM- A trickler to win the game?  Sure!!!  Why not?!  Leave it to Omar.  Magic number down to two for the Tigers!  Good thing I took a nap today because this is September baseball and it's just too good to go to bed early.  I do have to say that after a four hour game, I'm way done with the Bernstein commercials.

11:30 PM- Michigan squeaks out a win 24-21 over the 0-3 team from Connecticut.  This can't happen in Big Ten games.  Those teams will take advantage of the weakness and capitalize.
It's off to bed now.  It's been a long day and lots of sports action.  On tap for tomorrow?  Rinse and repeat, but with professional athletes instead.  Life is good.