Greater than

In elementary school (a place I call home), kids learn two very important symbols.  Greater than is represented by > and less than is represented by <.  We tell the children to think of the symbols as alligators, and alligators always want to eat the biggest number.  Gluttony is also taught in elementary school.  Let's take these two symbols and play a little game.

Dirty Dirks batting 2nd > Donnie Kelly batting 2nd

Vmart's batting average after the All Star Break > Princey Pie's average after the All Star Break

Vmart's first half batting average < Vmart's second half batting average

Pena's aggressive helmet throw > Avila always getting hit by foul tips

Smokes as a manager > Lamont as a manager

Muting the television > Listening to any commentator talk about baseball instant replay

Miguel Cabrera healthy > All other players in the league and half the players in the Hall of Fame

Miguel Cabrera with a sore hip/abdomen > All other players in the league

Miguel Cabrera with a sore hip/abdomen and a bruise on his shin > All other players in the league

Miguel Cabrera with a sore hip/abdomen, a bruise on his shin, and a sore knee > All other players in the league except possibly when legging out a possible triple

In summation, Miguel Cabrera is ridiculous.  He currently has the agility of Gene Lamont, yet still manages to hit the living daylights out of the ball and play third base consistently.  His only weakness?  I'm thinking kryptonite.