Torii Hunter- This one is easy to figure out because he told everyone yesterday in his postgame interview with Shannon Hogan. He will be laying by the pool...naked. Obviously, Torii Hunter has an enemy and its name is tan lines.
Miguel Cabrera- Technically, I think Miggy is supposed to participate in the dance event tonight benefiting an Autism charity (good cause), but I hope he takes it easy on all that hip shaking. The Tigers have 18 straight games after their day off today, including a double header with Kansas City in mid-August. Maybe Miggy could just dance the waltz or the foxtrot and stay clear of any cha-chas or rumbas.
Prince Fielder- Princey Pie is finally getting fitted for his chin strap on his batting helmet that he so clearly needs. In fact, Princey pitched the idea to another high flying hitter, Bryce Harper, yesterday and he already has one definite customer. I smell retirement fund, people.
Justin Verlander- JV will be having an all day eat fest looking for a suitable alternative to his Taco Bell meal he eats before every game. The ladies of Christmas in July decided that 30 is just too old to be eating Taco Bell on a weekly basis and expecting your digestive system to just adapt. Suggestions for new meals include: a nice salad topped with ahi tuna and plenty of tomatoes, a grilled chicken breast and grilled vegetables, or baked salmon with some roasted red skin potatoes. Hey, no one said getting old was fun, Justin, but if you want those pants to keep fitting like they do, I'd lay off the Taco Bell.
Alex Avila- AA will be hitting the batting cages today in hopes that the off day doesn't ruin his back-to-back game home runs. He'll need to practice whatever swing it is he found to be ready for tomorrow. If we are lucky, AA might just climb above .200 by this time next week. He hit the .200 milestone yesterday and I think we all breathed a little sigh of relief.
Drew Smyly- Not only did Smyly get to catch the first pitch from Shane Battier, Detroit born basketball player and part of the current NBA championship team the Miami Heat, but he also caught for the man himself...Santa Claus. Drew will take all day to construct his thank you letter to Santa and start on his annual Christmas list. On the top of the list? A spot in a starting rotation for a MLB team. Hey, the kid deserves it.
Rick Porcello- After the devastating loss of Ricky P's wingman, G$, he will be test driving a new wingman in the form of Brayan Pena. Ricky is counting on Pena's effervescent smile and ability to sprint around the bases following a home run to really bring the ladies in.
Jhonny Peralta- He'll be finding a new hobby because he'll need something to occupy his time for the next 50 games. It's going to happen. Don't appeal. Take it like a man and do some community service in your down time.
Jim Leyland- He'll be spending his day in uninterrupted smoke heaven. Sometimes, when Smokes comes out to argue with an ump, I wonder, is he just passionate or does he want to spend the rest of the game in his office smoking three packs of cigarettes? I bet it's different answers on different days.
Jose Iglesias- He'll spend the day semi-unpacking and getting acquainted with his new digs. He'll receive house visits from Rod Allen (who will bring him a bag of Scott's turf builder), Jose Veras to talk about being the new guy in Detroit and also having the same first name, but he'll turn down an invitation from Hunter to come over for a swim. Iglesias is a young kid with a lot to prove at the shortstop position on the first place team in the ever lukewarm AL Central. I'd suggest a nap too, just to prepare yourself for the next 18 games. I'm sure you'll see some playing time.
Days off are the best. Be sure to enjoy it, boys.
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