Nationals in town

The Nationals make a quick two game appearance in Detroit mid week.  Already, Bryce Harper proves that his mohawk has special, magical abilities much like Harry Potter's wand.  At least he doesn't have an invisibility cloak.  That'd just be clown crazy, bro (I really can't resist.  This kid just serves them up).

Although the Nats are used to the Presidents Race at Nationals Park (Teddy Roosevelt has been known to cheat.  His motto was speak softly and carry a big stick after all), they are in for a special treat tomorrow.  It's Christmas in July at the ballpark for the afternoon game.  Highlights include Santa Paws, Santa himself, and even the Detroit Tigress is making an appearance.  In true Christmas fashion, I have a Santa hat, Tiger scarf and will be receiving a festive shirt for the day.  Be sure to check Twitter and watch the game.  My money's on Shannon Hogan trolling the stands dressed as Mrs. Claus.  It seems right up her alley.

Good sport, badder sport

It's rare that I comment on any team except the Tigers, mainly because my time is spent living the dream and watching the Tigers.  There's not a whole lot of time for watching other teams until playoffs roll around.  However, I often troll around sports websites to check out the odd and unusual things that pop up around MLB.  I was truly disturbed to see an article about David Ortiz completely LOSING it after arguing balls and strikes with an umpire.  Here's an incriminating photo of Big Papi taking his anger out on the bullpen phone, almost hitting his teammate Pedroia (on the right) with the debris.

After Ortiz's joyful appearance during the Home Run Derby, I'm more than a little disappointed in his behavior to something that has been a part of baseball from the beginning, an ump's subjective nature in calling balls and strikes.  Obviously it bothers me (it should bother you too) that he lost it over something as trivial as balls and strikes.  Umpires aren't perfect.  Baseball players aren't perfect.  Do you see a pattern there?

Ortiz's behavior simply can't be overlooked.  Once you become a professional athlete, you also become a role model.  I think it's included with the signing bonus.  Small children look up to you and think your behavior is acceptable.  Yelling at an umpire is one thing (we all know Smokes teaches a class on this at Harvard in the off season), but using a bat to destroy property has crossed ten lines.

Other bad behavior that crosses lines includes: when teams clear benches, when players charge the mound, when players showboat (kiss baseballs...ring a bell?), when players get arrested for any reason, and when players cheat.  Those type of behavior shade you to the public and make both children and adults think less of you.  Better hire a good PR person.  Others have come back from this (Cabby) and sometimes time is the best healer.

On a totally unrelated note, if the Tigers played like last night all the time, then they could pretty much stamp their ticket to the World Series now...in July.  It's so nice to have the fire power of Cabby and Hunter back in the lineup.  Stay healthy boys!  Get healthy, Omar!

Update (2:08 PM 7/28)- What Miggy did during his at bat during the 3rd inning can't even be considered arguing.  In this case, the umpire is in the wrong...

Chirping

This series against the White Sox is the way the Tigers should be playing baseball.  Even with Cabby hobbling through, Infante still on the DL, and the bullpen slowly recovering from a dismal first half, the Tigers have managed to string runs together and hold the Sox to minimal damage.  I like it!

Something happened the other day that will change the course of history.  No, not the royal baby (Detroit declaring bankruptcy is close though).  It's that the Detroit Tigress finally joined Twitter (You can read all the antics here).  Rest assured that I'll be sure to be Twittering (or Tweeting, I've heard it both ways) during games, bringing you the inner thoughts of the third most interesting Tiger fan in the world.  Here are some examples from the past two days:

Prince must be wearing a postal uniform under his jersey because he sure can deliver.

Blue light special: Chicago is having a Sale on Tiger runs (this one is a play on names. It's clever AND funny)

News from the clubhouse, Cabby's hips fabricate the truth. Replaced by Donnie Kelly whose hips don't lie.

On a side note, any player who gets punishment for any drug violations, including involvement with Biogenensis, deserves whatever suspension or fine he incurs.  That includes Ryan Braun, Alex Rodriguez, Melky Cabrera, and even Jhonny Peralta.  A cheater is a cheater and consequences need to happen.  Hate to tell you boys, but you are role models.  Your actions do have consequences.  I'm impressed that Braun finally took ownership of his mistakes and is following the proper course.  I hope others who may be implicated can follow suit.

Second half

Even though baseball games are divided into innings, we true fans know that season are broken up in a different sense.  There's the part before the All Star break, and the part after.  Otherwise known as the first half of the season and the second half.  Tomorrow starts the second half of the season, when things stop being polite and start getting real.  Here are some things we have going for us:

Tigers are a game and a half up in the Central over Cleveland

Dougie Fresh is well known to light it up in the second half.  Bumpiness aside, he can really throw some missiles.

Master Brow has been successful in the past of working some trade deadline magic to acquire whatever the Tigers need for a playoff run.  This year, his eyes should be on a closer.  Let's see if he pulls through.

Cabrera's first half numbers were, in a word, ridiculous.  He got 132 hits, 95 RBIs, 30 home runs, a .365 average, and an on base percentage of .458.  If he can muster up the same momentum, then he's looking to have another banner season.  All at the tender age of 30...

VMart just started heating up before the break, climbing from the basement up to a .258 average.  I'm sure he spent his days off in the batting cage to keep his swing fresh.  His year off from injury obviously affected his batting average, but the rust is starting to fall off.  He's the five spot we need to be deadly in the playoffs.

The Tigers dominated the All Star game.  Cabrera, Peralta, and Fielder all got hits (Princey Pie's was arguably the best of the game and provided the most amount of chuckles per All Star, it's a real stat).  SchEYEzer pitched a perfect first inning (and probably could have gone another...I'm looking at you Smokes).  With a team contributing so much to a league competition, it's obvious that others are taking notice.

I'm pumped for the second half, how about you?

NY HR Derby

Watching the All Star activities always makes me nostalgic for 2005 when I got to personally attend the events (yes, I bring this up in almost every conversation about baseball because it tends to make people a little envious and it's just sweet).  It's also awesome to see the best baseball players in the game sitting around and enjoying a beautiful evening in New York.  Home Run Derby is sweet because there's only eight guys that have to do anything, so everyone else is just chilling and shooting the breeze.  Here are some random "chill moments":

Hunter, Trout, Verlander- Now, Hunter and Trout makes sense because they were old teammates and outfield brothers, but it's clear that JV is just trying to get some hitting tips from Trouty Mouth.  I think Trouty told him to put down the bat, because JV must have tried to sneak into this contest at least three times.

Big Papi volunteers himself to be a sideline commentator, just walking up to a man with a microphone and talking.  Why not?  I'd listen to him and any advice he has about hitting.  Cespedes was lucky to receive the backing of BP.

Bryce Harper's hair is ridic.  I guess since he figured he didn't have to wear a hat, he could use super glue in his hair to had more flair to his already flair-tastic look.  In a situation like this, I have to ask myself one question: What would Rod Allan say? (WWRAS as it's commonly found on yarn bracelets)  Rod would say, "I don't know about the faux hawk, but he wears that fade nicely."

Wait, wait.  Now JV is talking to Big Papi.  Those two are incorrigible!  JV did not have a bat in hand, but rather a ball.  I think he was showing Trouty Mouth and BP how to throw a slider.

Everyone loves a hometown player in the Derby.  It's nice to see David Wright go out and represent for the Mets.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a hometown player in the Derby is a must.  Remember last year when Robinson Cano didn't pick Billy Butler to be on the Derby team even though the event was being held in KC?  The fans were clearly disappointed.  Even though Wright didn't get past the first round, it doesn't matter.  It's an experience those fans and Wright will have for their lives.  (Side note, in my HR Derby, hometown hero Pudge Rodriguez came in second to the crazy HR man known as Bobby Abreu.  It was epic to have a Tiger player in the finals)

These two trucks out in center field are killing me.  Berman is like the a kid in the sandlot or parking lot who keeps rooting for his friends to bust a window in the lonesome car that sits in center field.  First base may be a hubcap, but it's the Volvo in center field that separates the boys from the men.  Hit the ball through the driver's side window and get a free ice cream at the Whippy Dip.

Mike Piazza is vying for a broadcasting job.  His best quip?  "He (Chris Davis) hit one out of the park the other day with his forearm."  Clever, Mikey.  He doesn't quite have TV ready hair yet, but that's easily fixed.  Nothing a trip to the barber won't fix.  Maybe Mike can ask Bryce where he goes for his cut.

This shouldn't be standard, but I like that a guy from the AL and NL meet each other in the finals.  It exemplifies everything that All Star week stands for.  It's like when Army plays Navy in football.  It just makes sense.

Why do some of the players have digital cameras attached to their heads?  Didn't Google make those glasses camera that look more natural?  Or, as natural as a camera anywhere on your face can look.

Adam Jones cracks me up with the hot dogs.  That's one way to get on TV is to bring Boomer some food.  It really tees him up for his "He put some mustard on that one (referring to the ball)" comment.

The bottom line is, Yoenis Cespedes put on an unbelievable show.  Pretty awesome considering he isn't appearing tomorrow during the All Star game.  He came in second for voting last year for AL Rookie of the Year to Trouty Mouth, but this was his time to shine.  Congrats, kid!

Aspirin regimen

Vmart is on fire lately.  His average has been slowly climbing, and even though .245 is still pretty low for a player like Vmart, it's a vast improvement on the .232 he had at the end of June.  Point by point, he's clawing his way back.

There's a new (fictional) commercial circulating in Tigressland that's putting the Tigers' bullpen to good use.

Mario: Hi, I'm TV's Mario Impemba.  You may know me from such great things as broadcasting for the "Halos" and Tigers, and also being best friends with my buddy here, Roderick Allen.

Rod: False, and unless you are my mother, you will refrain from calling me Roderick.

Mario: Gotcha.  Anyway, I'm here to talk about a very important issue today: heart health.

Rod: Right you are, partner.  Whether you're a big fella or a little fella, Lady Heart Disease knows no difference.

Mario: It's true.  No one seems immune, except maybe Brookens.  That man is fit!

Rod: He must hit the gym quite a bit, just like JV did when his velo was down...that's velocity.

Mario: You do know it's not slang or an abbreviation if you have to explain yourself every time?  That is just really defeating the purpose.

Rod: You're just jealous of my mad skills at turning the spoken word.

Mario: We've strayed a little from the topic at hand.  Heart health.  4 out of 5 doctors recommend starting an aspirin regimen, and we are pretty sure that last doctor was too busy downing his half pound bacon burger to really listen to the question.

Rod: I know when I'm watching the Tigs in the 8th and 9th innings, my ticker falters every once in a while.  I mean, even when Benoit seems to pull out the save, he still leaves things up to fate.  Mother Nature should have got the save last night when Swisher fell on the wet dirt rounding third.

Mario: No argument here.  So, trust the aspirin that more sports announcers trust: Tigernol.

Rod: Because folks, it's a long season.  You don't want to be caught with a bad seed in your chest or a stinky piece of cheese.

Mario: Right you are.  The Tigers all use Tigernol (consult your doctor before beginning an aspirin regimen.  The Tigers resume no responsibility for your health.  As always, don your rally caps for best results.)

Beefs

I don't watch one game and all H-E-double hockey sticks breaks loose!  SchEYEzer gets his thirteenth win, Infante gets banged up, Torii gets heated, Cabby goes 0-fer, and Smyly and Benoit continue to represent for the Tigers' pen.

Is it just me, or are the Tigers starting to beef with everyone?!  It may be because of their winning record and other teams are genuinely out to set an example, but I have another theory.  The Tigers are feeling the pressure to perform every day and return to the World Series and are throwing a fit whenever anyone does anything remotely considered "dirty."  It doesn't seem like the Tigers are having a whole lot of fun right now.  Seems like they are acting and playing defensive.  As someone who is more than a little competitive (I may have thrown a bat before in recreation softball...my bad), I understand where they are coming from.  However, it's going to be a long final three months of the season if you play like everyone is gunning for you.  Here are some ways to lighten up a little and start enjoying living the dream (playing America's pastime as a real job):

Smile!

Feed each other sunflower seeds.

Just one dude feeding another.  Nothing to see here.

Light someone's foot on fire, preferably Donnie Kelly

See if everyone on the team can do the patented Torii Hunter "fake out" when catching a ball

I have no idea where the ball is.  Psych!

Try at least one Princey Pie scoop swing (even JV could pull this off since he's a golfer)

Fore!

Steal Smokes' ciggies during the game and watch him panic for a second

In conclusion, lighten up!  Even though I wasn't watching the game yesterday, I was chatting with a devoted Tiger fan.  The best thing about talking with other fans (they live among us) is to hear the nicknames they have for the players.  Here are some of my favorites from my friend (we'll call him John Jameson Jingleheimer Schmidt):  For Maxxy Pooh- For Scherzer ("For Scherzer is pitching tonight.  We will For Scherzer get a win"); For Ricky P- Poorfellow ("Poorfellow is pitching tonight.  Remember when he gave up nine runs in the first inning?  Poorfellow.")

Those are gems.  I have expressed written consent to use them at will, so be prepared!

Retaliation

I was holding off on this post for two reasons: 1. It's my 200th post!  Yay!  I was planning to do something special, but let's but honest, every day is special in the Tigress world.  Just bask in my glow for a minute.  There, don't you feel better?  2. The Tigers are having a miserable away series, starting 1-3.  The Tigers have been a better home team this year (must be all the supportive fans), but this is a little ridiculous.  There are seven more games in this road series and the Tigs need to pull it together.

The reason for the post was Porcello's preposterous six-game suspension.  With no action taken during the game, it's a little fishy that the suspension was handed out after the game (I know it happens, but usually the umps during the game actually start the process).  Riddle me this, MLB, why was no action taken against Rodney when he blatantly threw high and tight against Cabby?  In fact, Miggy had mimicked Rodney's "hot dog" celebration dance/pose the day before.  Now, while that was naughty of Miggy (secret high five), Rodney did not have any right to throw high.  If MLB is going to hand out suspensions, then everything should be even and fair.

Rodney, you've been put on the Tigress "watch list."  You can bet that what goes around, comes around.  Let's hope it's when the game's on the line and you have everything to lose.

Hi my name is Fernando and I don't even wear my hat straight in official team pictures

Ricky P also got fined, but I bet Miggy gives him the money to pay that off.  That's what good teammates do.