Zoom By Ya

2006 was a good year.  The Tigers were playoff bound and two young, hot pitchers were bringing the heat in Detroit.  Of course I'm talking about JV and Zumaya (here after referred to as Zoom By Ya).  Watching the 2006 season, I could have never predicted the two drastically different directions both their careers would take.  2011, JV is a Cy Young Winner, AL MVP, and 4 time All Star.  Zoom By Ya?  He's spent most of his career on the DL including two embarrassing accidents involving Guitar Hero and carrying boxes prior to the wild fires in California.  Seriously, it's so ridiculous that it's true.  Thank goodness he's finally gone from the Tigers.  The Twins were stupid enough to take him.  Good luck Twins.  Keep him away from any video games, especially fad video games that involve excessive wrist movement (insert dirty joke here). 

2006 Tigress doesn't know what 2012 Tigress does though.  2006 Tigress is taken with both fastball pitchers and gets giddy when Zoom By Ya tops the radar at 103.  She buys a Zoom By Ya shirt (she got a 2 for one deal with an In-Gee shirt at the local Foot Locker).  Poor Tigress.  She's so young!  Don't judge her, especially after you've read the following tale...

In hopes of gaining more hype about the approaching playoffs, several Tigers have made stops around Michigan to sign autographs and "pump up the volume."  On the way to an away series in Chicago, Zoom By Ya stops by my town to sign some autographs at the local sports card store.  This Tigress was jazzed!  After a beach volleyball game (don't act like you aren't impressed), I go stand in line to get my white Tiger hat signed.  (Maybe this had something to do with his "wrist" injury later on in the playoffs.  He should have blamed this appearance instead of Guitar Hero.  Whoever his publicist was should have been fired.)  I'll paint a picture of the drama here for you.  The line snaked around the building.  By the time we finally got inside (sister Tigress and some friends were with me), it was past his two hour commitment.  While Zoom By Ya is a tool (again, I didn't know this), he is good looking.  See evidence below including arm flame tattoos:

Sister Tigress is before me and sexily tells Zoom By Ya, "You're hot."  She may be a bigger dork than me.  Then it's my turn.  I'm wearing my favorite t-shirt "Real Women Don't Date Yankee Fans."  He signs my hat and hands it back to me.  Our eyes lock.  Clearly he's taken with me.  That's when, in true "cool kid" fashion, I raise my hand to my mouth, giggle like a school girl, and run away (probably with my arms bent like a Tyrannosaurus Rex).  I think the image below captures everything perfectly...

See that eye lock!  See my hand and awkward laugh!  DON'T JUDGE!  I thought I could be Mrs. Zoom By Ya!  This is when the world was at his finger tips.  Here's the moment he found his perfect lady friend, but then she giggled and ran away.  Thank goodness for my lack of social graces.  Otherwise I'd be stuck in Minnesota with a failure for a husband who plays Guitar Hero every night and who I've had to nurse through countless injuries.  Instead, all I have is a ruined white Tiger hat and this lousy picture (o ya, and a 2nd place finish in the 2006 World Series). 

So good-bye Zoom By Ya.  There will be more after you.  I'm sure I'll be taken with another 100 MPH fastball.  I always am.

Update: Shortly after I posted this, I was reading some new on the Tigers website.  This was one of the headlines:

Tigers saddened by Zumaya's elbow injury

Thank goodness he's no longer on our payroll!  It's like the Tigs knew I was feeling nostalgic about him today.