Headlines from TigerLand

Baseball fans have been waiting for Spring Training all winter.  Reporters are dying for a story and fans are dying to read something that will alter the entire season for their team.  These are some of my favorite headlines from yesterday on the Tiger's website:

Fister approaches game with runner's mentality

What does that mean?  He has a "slow and steady" mindset?  He eats a banana after every game?  He's here for the "long haul"?  No, just that he runs a lot and long distances.  This does not help me decide if he's My Tiger or not people...

To cut down on whiffs, Jackson alters stance

I think we are all thinking the same thing...It's about time!  Seriously, it's not that he strikes out.  Everyone strikes out sometimes.  He strikes out with runners in scoring position and as a lead off man.  Lloyd McClendon is even "excited about it."  I'm not going to hold my breath.

Leyland expecting big things from Porcello

This is a mercy story.  Rick must feel like poor Jan Brady.  Justin, Justin, Justin!  Then, Fister moves into town like the favored new stepsister (Bobby if we are sticking with the Brady Bunch analogy), and we really start to forget about Rick.  Max Scherzer is like Alice, kinda quirky, weird to look at, but someone you want in your kitchen.  Leyland must be thinking that Rick could be like cousin Oliver, kinda young and cute, but entertaining enough and exciting enough to keep people tuning in.

Inge yet to arrive, begin transition to second

This cracks me up for so many reasons.  First, this was yesterday so breathe easy Tiger fans, In-Gee did report on time to training.  I also think it's funny that they keep mentioning that he's trying out for second.  We didn't forget.  We're all sitting on pins and needles, no need to keep teasing us.  I also feel like this reporter is scolding In-Gee for not showing up early like all the others.  Who does he think he is, Miss Trunchbull ready to put him in the Chokey or swing him around like a hammer throw?

Verlander's Fastball Flakes hit grocery stores

This is my favorite.  Finally!  Something I can get excited about!  I'm going to be stocking up on my Fastball Flakes.  Now you kids can eat your sugary sweet cereal in the morning and be throwing 100 mile per hour fastballs until the 9th inning just like JV!  No, strike that.  You can eat your sugary cereal and drive your parents and teacher crazy until 2:14 when you go into a sugar crash coma. 

On a side note, did you happen to catch JV on Conan last month?  Sounds like he is ready for not only a cereal endorsement, but also one from Taco Bell.  3 crunchy taco supremes, a cheesy gordita crunch, and a Mexican pizza all in one box.  We can call it the JV All Star, Cy Young, MVP, 100 MPH Box.  Yum, I can smell the winning now.  Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92ch-9WdysQ

On a side note.  JV should eat his tomatoes.  They are good for your prostate.  Just looking out for you JV.

So that's it.  That's the news from TigerLand.  The best of the worst if you will.  Can't wait for next week's feature on Delmon Young's new martial arts training to perfect his bat throwing.  They have to drum up stories somehow.