Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A present

Happy new year!  As we embark on a new year (I'm oh so keen on 2013), I thought I would start the year off right.  I'm offering a present to you, but first, a tale.

Mother Tigress is the queen of decluttering.  It seems that every time I go for a visit, I am sent home with a box of my old things.  Usually, the boxes are filled with the usual relics of childhood: beanie babies, books, photo albums.  But this particular box that I was shown on Thanksgiving held something much more valuable.  It contained a purple notebook with Scooby Doo stickers on the front.  It was not the notebook itself that was so valuable but what was tucked between the pages. Hidden between the notebook's pages was the original "Hottest Men of Baseball" dated July 23, 2000.  The treasure I thought was lost to the dump was before my very eyes.  I can see the excitement in your eyes.

So, to start your new year off right, here is the original "Hottest Men of Baseball."
Let's just take a minute to bask in all its glory.  High school Tigress was so wise.

Let's break this baby down.

Catcher- First of all, note that there is no distinction between leagues.  I was an equal opportunity baseball admirer back then.  At catcher, Brad Ausmus.  As with my previous look at the hottest men, the catchers always tend to be a little on the homely side.  Thus the mask.  Brad Ausmus was playing for the Tigers in 2000 and was one of the few bright spots in the lineup.  Easy pick.  Here's Brad now:
1st base- Mike Sweeney is the All American boy.  It's apparent why he would appeal to fifteen year old Tigress.  True, he played for a rival team, but this transcends allegiance.
2nd base- Biggio was older than the other men on the list (34), but sometimes a silver fox can really mix things up.  He's the quintessential 2nd baseman.  Small, agile, quick bat.  He's also a franchise player, spending twenty years with the Astros.  You know I like that.
Shortstop- Meet the pretty boys of baseball, Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez.  These guys were just emerging as leaders on their teams, starting to get bigger salaries and more attention.  There was no way to pick just one, thus the tie.  I prefer them back in 2000, if only because they weren't so full of themselves.  This is before they dated models and actresses and just played the game.  Ah, the good old days.  Who would have thought they'd end up on the same team.
3rd base- The Chip.  I'll miss Chipper this 2013 season.  He's always been a consistent player and a likable guy.  It's surprising how many of these good looking guys played for so long.  Baseball doesn't weather these guys like other sports.  The hottest guys of hockey list doesn't contain so many long-time players.  Call me old fashion, but teeth are pretty attractive on a man.
Pitcher- There's a reason I have never included pitchers on the hottest lists.  There are so many of them and it would be tiresome research.  Matt Anderson does have the qualities of many pitchers who would end up on today's list.  Tall, muscular, hard throwing, good looking (just like Dougie Fresh).  True, Matt Anderson did not stand the test of time (injury prone and a failed comeback a few years ago), but his hotness will live on in the mind of a fifteen year old Tigress.
Left field- Hey kids, remember that old outfielder in Money Ball?  That was David Justice!  Another guy who was nearing the end of his career, his good looks haven't faded with time.  He ages very well actually.  Maybe too well.  Someone should test his DNA.
Center field- Brady Anderson: No relation to Matt.  I have one word for you, sideburns.  He had the sideburns of someone a generation older.  I think they highlighted his cheekbones.  His power hitting style also added to his allure.
Right field- Arguably, there are more attractive outfielders than Shawn Green.  However, his general demeanor and athletic ability put him a step above the rest.
So that's it.  We are all better people having seen the original list (a picture representation, nonetheless).  Have a fruitful 2013, hopefully filled with Tiger victories and more good looking players than I could ever hope for!

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